Lest you think that those aren't Patrick's actual and full quotes, you'd be wrong (he was actually telling me a lot more interesting stuff in the car). And, yes, he already knows all the bad words in the book. What, you think your eight year old doesn't? Don't be deceived.

Anyway, tonight we saw it in a dinky theater with a decent sound system (THX rated, though). The theater held about 240 people. Tomorrow night we'll see it in a theater that holds 800 people and has a digital projector. The print we saw had several flaws during the movie, including a black blotch that showed up on at least one frame.

The movie actually isn't all that bad, but it isn't all that good, either. Despite my son's protestations. Star Wars freaks, though, should definitely see it. It's worth the $10 I paid for the tickets.

I just don't think Lucas has the magic like he had in the 1970s. The movie just seems to try to duplicate his original magic. Yawn. The "Matrix" preview got my heart beating faster than all but one or two scenes in the Attack of the Clones.

By the way, you could have walked into a theater and seen the movie tonight. Not many lines. It's hard to have too many lines when every cinaplex in the county is playing it on multiple screens. We waited in line just to get a decent seat, though (we were first in line for our showing -- thanks to my brother Alex).

Alright, I'm here with eight-year-old movie reviewer Patrick Scoble. We've just come from watching the 2.5-hour (well, including the 15 minutes of previews of cool new movies coming soon) new Star Wars movie.

Instead of telling you what I thought (I'll write that tomorrow night after I see it again) I thought I'd interview Patrick and let you know what an eight year old thinks of the movie.

A warning, though: Patrick is a bigger Star Wars freak than Eric Norlin. He lives and shits Star Wars. No shitting. Sorry, I feel like swearing. I hate the fucking clean world of Lucas. I saw arms get cut off without a drop of blood. Geesh.

Robert: What did you think of the movie?

Patrick: I liked it. It was better than the first one. I didn't hate anything about it. I thought it was really really good compared to the Phantom Menace.

Robert: How about compared to the other Star Wars movie?

Patrick: It's 2% lower than the other movies. At least 2%. The Phantom Menace was at least 50% less than Attack of the Clones.

Robert: Why did you like this movie so much?

Patrick: Cause it was cool.

Robert: Why did you love it so much?

Patrick: Because there was fighting and Yoda with a light sabre.

Robert: What else?

Patrick: The battle droids are back.

Robert: Didn't this movie just totally suck?

Patrick: No!!!

Robert: Well, let's tear it apart. Wasn't it too long?

Patrick: No.

Robert: I caught you getting bored during the talking scenes, so are you lying?

Patrick: No. I liked all of it.

Robert: So, do you deny getting bored in the middle of the movie?

Patrick? Sure, some of the kissy stuff was bad.

Robert: What, you don't kiss your girlfriend?

Patrick: Grrrrr.

Robert: What did you think of the music? How did it compare to the first Star Wars movie Lucas, and composer John Williams did?

Patrick: It was all the same music. There was no new stuff.

Robert: Haven't Lucas and Williams lost their touch for finding new ways of thrilling audiences?

Patrick: I wouldn't say that.

Robert: Why not?

Patrick: Because the saga is not over yet.

Robert: What do you mean?

Patrick: Lucas still has a chance.

Robert; Why is the next one going to be cool?

Patrick: Count Doocoo (spelling?) should have died. That means he'll be back in the next movie.

Robert: What was the best thing about this movie?

Patrick: The fighting, the arena. The Jedi's with all the fighting.

Robert: You just into fighting? I think you're way too violent. Either that, or you really did like all the kissy scenes.

Patrick: How many of these are you going to write?

Robert: Until you give me a good quote.

Patrick: No. I'm going to bed.

Robert: First, didn't this movie just totally suck?

Patrick: I already told you that: no!!!

Robert: Well, you've offered no evidence to my audience about why it didn't totally suck. So, give me three reasons it didn't suck and why everyone reading this should see this piece of trash.

Patrick: Reason number one: Yoda had a light saber. That's what I liked about it.

Reason number two: there wasn't much Jar Jar Binks.

Reason number three: I just liked it.

Robert: OK, but aren't you a total Star Wars freakoid?

Patrick: Yes!

Robert: So, why should we take your and Eric Norlin's word that this movie didn't totally suck?

Patrick: I saw it totally did not suck even one tiny little eenssy bit.

Robert: I thought the acting was wooden and artifical, what did you think?

Patrick: Well, Yoda with a light saber was kind of fake. All the characters were interesting and believeable.

The backgrounds were believeable too.

Robert: So, you excited about seeing this movie again tomorrow night?

Patrick: Yes, I am.

Dad, I hate your interviews.

Robert: OK, off to bed with you.

Patrick: Unwrite that!!!

Dad, (pointing to screen) unwrite that dad!!

Robert: Well, you didn't give me a good quote yet, so off to bed with you!

Patrick: Just erase that and I will give you a quote.

Robert: Let this be a good lesson to you. If you talk to a Weblogger you'll get quoted and you won't be able to take the quote back.

Patrick: ...goes to bed...

Eric Norlin is full of shit, but I did enjoy the new Star Wars -- only because I had lower-than-the-toilet expectations after Lucas screwed the last one up so bad.