Thursday, June 17, 2004

Julie is talking about home schooling and says this: "When I was a girl, my mother cautioned me You become like the person you marry. I think that the truth behind this observation is that people conform to the people around them. It's not necessarily something intentional. But human beings by nature are like sponges, subconsciously soaking up the influence of others." Which reminds me of one of the things I have recognized during my grieving process.  The loss of identity.  I have no doubt that I became like Cindy in the 24 years we were together.  I also know that after her death I lost part of my identity.  I was surprised at how much of "who I am" was derived from what she thought of me, and the things I felt about her.  Part of what made me who I was, were the things I/we did that she enjoyed, tolerated and disliked.  It is the daily process of becoming like another person.  When that suddenly stops there are questions as to the things you do that are enjoyed, tolerated or disliked.  It is another loss, one of the ones that isn't immediately recognized and is difficult to adjust to. Julie also sends me off to find some new music. http://www.christinedente.com/ 8:44:23 AM

" 'nothing isn't nothing nothing's something that's important to me. That's right. And everyone's a little nothing that is how it should be.' That's right. That's right - sha sha. sha doo" How it Should Be (Sha Sha) Ben Kweller "Oh, you are my family tree. Be good to me Take care of me. Bop bop." Family Tree Ben Kweller "It's gonna take alot of time before I can cross that finish line And when I can't take the fall I really wanna make that call. ooh ooh ooh ooh ah ah ah" Commerce, TX Ben Kweller "I don't feel like i'm falling. No, I don't feel like i'm falling No, I don't feel like i'm falling down. Just saying "hello" to the ground. Ba ba ba ba ba ba " Falling Ben Kweller I love songs with lyrics like "sha sha" or "bop bop" or "ooh ooh ah ah", real "sing along songs" where you don't have to make up lyrics they are already made up for you :) 7:21:47 AM

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