Sunday, February 13, 2005

"Seeing her lying on the ER bed, I realized how little I can protect her. As a mom I've made many choices, seeking what would be best for my girls, pursuing what would ensure their safety and health. But the truth of parenting is that I can't control everything. I will see them suffer at times and I won't be able to fix it." This is from a post on Julie's blog from a while back. It had quite an effect on me when I read it. I wanted to post something about it but it was a little to strong and I couldn't. Julie's post is about a trip to the ER with her daughter to get a cut taken care of. They were visiting the city of angels (LA) and her post has some thoughts on angels and God and the concepts of God looking out for us. These are frequent thoughts for me and the girls. There are many very religious and caring people that make DGI (don't get it) statements about God's wishes and his involvement in our situation. Faith is something that is questioned during the grieving process. Both of my girls have had face crashes. Lindsey's first was a header into the cement blocks and tile that form the hearth of our fireplace. I wasn't there to see that one so Cindy had the opportunity to do the trip to the doctor and stitches. We were not all that impressed by the job they did and that scar is still visible today. Chelsey's fall was a flying leap, as if she were a dog, off the sofa and face first onto the corner of the coffee table. I saw that one in full color, super slow motion. When I picked her up and carried her to the kitchen I fully expected gushing blood and that she was going to have lost her eye. But we were lucky and it was just a rather clean deep cut just above the eye. After our experience with Lindsey we decided to do the Dr. mom version and got some butterfly strips and patched her up ourselves. Lindsey would go on to do another face to the bathroom sink crash that resulted in her just above the eye experience. Julie says, "Psalm 91 makes bold claims about God's protection and it is a hard psalm to read when one is wondering and suffering. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone." She wonders about how close they came to a much more serious injury and wonders if the angels somehow have some impact. Not in as to what happens but as to what doesn't happen. That is, they didn't stop the fall that lead to the injury but perhaps did lift just enough so the injury wasn't as serious as it could have been. I too am amazed at how close the kids come to serious injury only to end up with little cuts and bruises. I tend to attribute that to the incredible design of human children. The bone structure around the eyes and the indented location of the delicate eye within that socket structure seems to be there just to protect our children from more serious damage when they fall. But I do frequently wonder about the angels or God's influence on what happened to Cindy. One of the things that I think about is how the smallest change in the events of that day could have influenced what happened. Just a tiny delay at school, or even losing her keys in her purse for a few seconds. At the speed he was travelling just a matter of a second and he would have missed the car and driven into the empty field in front of the church. Just the smallest of angel lifts could have protected Cindy. But that didn't happen. 12:06:37 PM

© Copyright 2006 Rod Kratochwill.