Jeanne Safer has written a book called The Normal One about the effects of a troubled sibling on other siblings in the family. I read about it in this review in the New York Times.

Her analysis of the ''Caliban syndrome,'' as she calls the psychological condition affecting normal siblings in families with damaged children, is supported with some 60 interviews with siblings of impaired family members. The syndrome, named for the Miranda-Caliban relationship in ''The Tempest,'' has four distinct elements: ''premature maturity,'' ''survivor guilt,'' ''compulsion to achieve'' and ''fear of contagion.'' Normal siblings are characterized this way:

''Cheerful caretakers, mature before their time, they are supposed to consider themselves lucky to be normal. They feel tormented by the compulsion to compensate for their parents' disappointments by having no problems and making no demands, and they are often unaware of the massive external and internal pressure to pretend that nothing is amiss.''

Gulp. Just a bit of a recognition factor there...

11:31:18 PM    please comment []