Saturday, May 18, 2002

Just revisited Star Wars. Let's forget about trying to piece together pieces of the plot (as in when C3P0 doesn't recognize Tattooine, or when "Old Ben" doesn't recognize R2D2, or many others). Here's the point. Here's what's missing in these newer incarnations: wit, humor, and banter. Such solemn proceedings. Esmé wanted to watch "the one with Queen Amidala" and it's so boring watching these stodgy Jedi move from one scene to the next with such solemn sense of purpose. The Luke/Han/Leia chemistry, the banter, the insults, and, frankly the sheer ineptitude on display during their rescue of Leia all make for a much more charming, enjoyable movie experience. 3:55:58 PM

Well, I think my opinion falls squarely in with the consensus at Rotten Tomatoes. Not great, not awful. More accurately, parts of it were great, parts were awful. The first half of the movie was simply excrutiating, watching contrived scene after contrived scene of Anakin and Padmé "falling in love." Think of either the "falling in love montage" from Shrek and/or The Naked Gun, except that it wasn't played for laughs. Eeeesh. Fortunately, those scenes were mixed with great action sequences of Obi Wan fighting in an asteroid field, on an amazing rain-drenched planet, and so on. I really begin to wonder how much of this was planned ahead of time. The next movie will have to be a marvel of writing to be able to tie in loose ends from the "first" two episodes, while laying the groundwork for a somewhat seamless transition to Episode IV -- A New Hope. Simple example: in this movie, we are introduced to a young Owen and his girlfriend, Beru. I actually thought most of the scenes on Tatooine were nice. Made me think of that sullen, pouty, rebellious kid Luke, and think that maybe everything will tie together nicely. But we get the foreshadowing of Luke's adoptive parents. And then I wonder why Luke and Leia were split up as kids. To protect them from their father? Perhaps. Funny, though, that a young Jedi protegé would grow up on Anakin's home planet, raised by his step Uncle and step Aunt, and Darth Vader (by that point) never dropped in for a visit. Was "Old Ben" there to protect Luke while we was growing up? Maybe. But that would imply Vader might go looking for his son, and that one of two remaining Jedi would need to hang out and protect him. So why was Yoda hermitting on Dagobah instead of keeping an equally protective eye on Leia? And again, if you're trying to keep Luke out of harms way so that he can grow up and save everybody, don't you think you'd put him on a planet where the Baddest of the Bad didn't have any significant emotional baggage? I dunno. Perhaps that's why this movie is getting so many mixed reviews: it's forced to explain so many plot points, and develop so many characters, and be an engaging action/adventure, that there simply isn't enough time. I know one thing for sure. The next movie will be the darkest of the six, darker even than Empire Strikes Back. All of the Jedi (except for Obi Wan, Ben, and Anakin, of course) will die. Padmé will most certainly die (probably killed by Palpatin or one of his minions, but framed to look like Yoda or Ben did it), to act as the tipping point for Anakin's move to the Dark Side. Either that or she recognizes the growing rage in Anakin and leaves of her own accord. Obi Wan and Anakin will fight, and Obi Wan wins, but Anakin gets thrown into a vat of acid or some such. Palpatin will take complete control of the Senate and probably declare himself Emperor. Young Luke and Leia will be torn from their parents and sent to opposite corners of the galaxy. Doom and gloom. By the beginning of the first Star Wars, all of the bad guys from these two prequels will be in positions of almost absolute power. Yikies. 10:23:32 AM