Where I Live

Phoenix, AZ aka Venus aka Hell

Where do you live? I live on the 'South Side', an older, more ethnically diverseneighborhood than the rest of Phoenix which is pretty waspy otherwise.

Why do you live there? Cause I work here and I can tolerate extreme heat.

What cultural opportunities do you have? I may not know culture but do the words 2001 World Series Champions mean anything to y'all? We also have operas, plays, museums and the like. In June I saw the Chihuly exhibition, Installations, which was created especially for the Phoenix Art Museum.

What recreational opportunities do you have? Except in the summer there are many outdoor activities to enjoy. I believe that Phoenix has the highest per capita boat ownership of any major city. It is a lot of fun to wash the boat in the driveway, showing the neighbors just how much disposable income you really have. Or you could go to the lakes.

What do you like about it? I have a good job here and own a small house on a large piece of property. These things are plentyful and affordable in Phoenix (especially south Phoenix!) while they cost much more in other, cooler parts of the world. Not that Phoenix isn't cool. No, wait. Phoenix Isn't cool.

What do you hate about it? Ok, I lied. Culture in Phoenix sucks. Sure, we get the occasional art show, sports a plenty and if ya like horses... Well, that's it. The symphony is always clammoring for a decent venue, most plays are by Andrew Lloyd Webber and there is always a horse or cowboy show. Did I mention the horses?

What qualities really stand out? (good or bad) Phoenix is big. I think there are 50 or 60 million cars here, and some how they can all drive at once. We've got a couple of freeways, but you can't use them between the hours of 6-10am and 2-7pm because all of those cars park there during drive time. I believe this is some sort of plan by the traffic department to keep people from getting to work, which, in Arizona, is mostly in the pollutant manufacturing sector. Since I work in higher education, I teach students how to manufacture pollutants.

Would you recommend it, and why? Not really. There are no major attractions here except for air conditioning, and there are already too many people here.

If I were to move there, what would I really need to know? You would need to know an escape route.

How is it different from other places you have been? With the exception of Lake Havasu, AZ, Phoenix is the hottest place I've ever lived. The four seasons are Heating (Feb 1 - May 16), Cooling (Oct 20 - Dec 31), Summer (May 16 - Oct 19) and January. January is open window nice as are most of Cooling and Heating. Since Phoenix is in close proximity to the California coast many of us spend a lot of time there. They even have a cute little pet name for us.