i am stupidtom dot com

Friday, June 22, 2001

I am torry. (crack head bob reference) I always think of writing in this thing just before I go to sleep and I’ll be damned if I’m going to drag my fat ass back downstairs just to empty my head. If I had any time during the day it would be a lot easier but nothing is set at work and I’m constantly switching gears. I’d love nothing more than to have a compartmentalized day. Even a general knowledge of what a certain workday will entail, but, this is not my role at my current company. I am working on some type of schedule at home. My current size dictates that I find time to exercise. This means that I have to get the house cleaned up, kids all asleep home business finished with some time left over. This isn’t easy but it’s starting to come together. A big part of the family organization theme is getting our finances in order. An end is finally in sight to the massive amount of debt that we incurred during Katie’s entrance into this world. NO crybaby woe is my family BS, this particular kick in the groin resulted in one of my favorite people in the world. I’d do it again, with some minor changes due to hindsight. I think the best things we do as people come from desperate situations. 12:00:00 AM    says you

Thursday, June 14, 2001

I know yesterday sounded like a pile of pathetic whining but that’s because it was. I have no idea what brings on these feelings that nothing is working out. If I did I’d probably be rich and have a whole different set of problems on my plate. My tone will be off until this getting up every morning at 3:30am to work at the track is over. My sleep has been drastically cut from six to four hours and I’m starting to feel it. I think I’m in some kind of rut and it’s getting hard to pull out. It seems like the better I want things to get I’m rewarded with the opposite results. Enough of this self absorbed bullshit. Life goes on no matter what my mood. 12:00:00 AM    says you

Wednesday, June 13, 2001

I have not done this in a week because our house as well as our financial situation has decided to disintegrate before my very eyes. Every molecule in our house is in a state of almost broken. I owe much of this to the fine companies that “updated” our house before they sold it to us. For instance, the doorknobs are all broken. This is partially due to the fact that in this house doorknob = hanger. But, the majority of the problem lies in the purchase of the lowest quality that money can buy. I know these guys were out to make a buck, but I swear they only purchased things with a 3 year shelf life. Windows won’t open, the fresh paint job has all peeled, shingles are missing from the roof, gutters are separating from the house, and 5 electrical sockets are not working as well as all of the exterior lighting. This is just the beginning; this doesn’t include the need for new siding, a new furnace, and a new air conditioner. I know your saying, shut up you whiny bitch. I also know that I have it better than most. But calling a pile of crap cake doesn’t make it taste any better. I am too cranky to go on. Hopefully I will cheer up by tomorrow. Sorry about the delay, I’m working on my commitment issues. 12:00:00 AM    says you

Thursday, June 07, 2001

I found myself wondering today if anyone else jumps out of their heads and watches what’s going on. Now before you call the guys with the white coat and the complicated buckles, let me explain. I’m talking about getting so caught up in some side story and losing your place in the conversation. All right, that made things as clear as mud, last try. This mainly happens to me when the person or people that I’m meeting with are treating me like shit. I inevitably end up making up a back-story that explains why this person has chosen this particular moment to turn into a human sphincter. The key to a good back-story is incorporating things you are looking at. Example: This lady is being such a complete bitch because she just looked in a mirror and realized that her hair looks like a helmet. Not to mention the fact that her blouse / showing bra combo has been out of style for a long, long time. I’d bet she has a drinking problem. ALL OF A SUDDEN I REALIZE THAT HER SENTENSE ENDED WITH AN UP TONEIN HER VOICE INDICATING A QUESTION. Ummm, sure. I guess… I’m sorry, what were you saying. 12:00:00 AM    says you

Wednesday, June 06, 2001

I’ve been quiet about this diet crap long enough. My current HELL now includes the Atkins diet. I am not nor will I ever be some kind of Atkins evangelist. I think something is very wrong with this way of eating. Eating no fruits or vegetables cannot be healthy in the long run. But neither is carrying another complete human beings worth of fat. This started for me when I walked by the scale in our bathroom (not really random as it’s time for my once every five year visit to some quack, and what the hell lets see how gravity is treating me today.) and was a little amazed to see that I’d added 10% to my believed body mass. This is bad news for the average sized human but for the 6’5” 300lb mutant this was a disaster. OK fat-ass, now you weigh 330, what next? Head to the tall and portly shop and start picking out moo moos. Maybe apply yourself and go for a visit from Richard Simmons. Or, lazy piece of crap, do something. Here I sit at 290 and holding. I believe this is called a plateau. This has basically been like throwing a deckchair off a cruise ship but I’m headed in the right direction. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking to become some fitness buff preaching the evils of carbohydrates, I’d just like to see my kids grow up and have a little fun along the way. Enough of “FATTY PUTS THE FORK DOWN” I have no desire to keep writing about this subject so consider it closed until something dramatic happens. By dramatic I mean that I enter into a “normal” weight zone, or, one of these concrete bowel movements includes my liver and kidneys that everyone tells me I’m doing so much damage to. 12:00:00 AM    says you

Tuesday, June 05, 2001

OK, now this Blogger thing is starting to chap my ass. I burned a half hour of my time on some stupid rant and this thing sends it out into the either without even a thanks for the effort. I have to figure out how to do one of these on my own pages. This would however require a precious commodity that I don’t have a lot of right now, time. I want to thank both of you that sent me email regarding this stupid mess. Thank you for your support but I’m just doing this as a stress valve. Speaking of stress, I have this overwhelming urge to take a couple of classes. Currently time and money do not permit but I’m looking towards the fall. I may try a creative writing class or better yet, an intro to sentence structure and grammar. I typing class would help in a huge way as well. This 3 to 4 finger thing is getting old fast. I’ve also been looking into these classes online. This helps with squeezing in work whenever possible. The biggest problem is that I don’t even know where to start looking for a reputable school. I get spam everyday since I started looking. The messages are for complete degrees without doing any work. These things are very tempting because I’ve met people with impressive resumes that have been wholly unimpressive in the real world. Luckily my ethics aren’t in peril because I don’t have the $3,000.00 that these honorable institutions require. I briefly entertained offering a couple of hundred for an associates because no one would ever believe it was fake. The regrets of a misspent youth coupled with the asshole I’m going to feel like forcing my children to get educations. I need sleep. 12:00:00 AM    says you

Sunday, June 03, 2001

I’m back once again. It’s starting to seem like I never have any time to get on this computer and just write. I’ve been a big fan of the quick email check lately, with an equally fast set of responses for those that require them. Unfortunately my life isn’t an episode of Doogey Hauser, where the end of the day and all of its life lessons can be summed up in two or three sentences. I have another long day tomorrow but I’m going to make a real effort in the evening. ALA DOOGIE: It seems that the point I dream of attaining is fantasy. I now know that my time is better spend enjoying all that I have been given. 12:00:00 AM    says you