Monday, July 02, 2001

Hey, I realized that I was allowing work to flow into my entire life and that just can’t happened. Stress is never a good thing but neither is putting on the happy face all day and coming home to dump on all of the people you care about. This recent epiphany is brought to you by the good people at Arlington Park Race Track. I was partnered with one of the nicest humans on the planet a few days ago but he is no conversationalist. I know this is bad but I put headphones on and I had no batteries for my walkman just to avoid talking about the same 3 subjects. During this self imposed exile I had a lot of time to think (2 hours to be exact) and I was trying to figure this recent fog that has crept into my horizon. I figured it out and it boiled down to being overwhelmed at work. My responsibilities have been thankfully reduced with some much needed help but I can’t shut my brain off at night. I wake up at 4:30 every morning waiting for my pager to go off telling me that someone hasn’t showed up at the track. This isn’t the worst thing I could be doing but I can’t get back to sleep. I end up planning this spectacular day of finally completed tasks that by the end of said same day I’m lucky to finish half. The real problem is I know that there is a smarter way for this company to operate. Just like I know I could smash the heads of Alex Trebec and that snotty Brit from the weakest link together with zero remorse. The answer is sitting in my brain and I can feel it, I know the answer is in me but until it surfaces I’ll keep plodding along doing the immediate, putting out the fires that have the courtesy to burn directly in my path. All of this nonsense boils down to I’m working on the husband father thing a little harder and hoping my work solution comes out of hiding on its own. 12:00:00 AM    says you