Tuesday, July 10, 2001

I’m sitting here in the middle of the night because my throat is trying to swell shut. I know this seems kind of far fetched but I have had a thing with sore throats all of my life. I know you must be thinking “why not just get your tonsils taken out?” well, the simple answer is I don’t want to. I was lucky enough to deal with doctors growing up that didn’t push the issue and here I sit with a golf ball on each side of my throat and a full sized speed bag in the back of my mouth. You know it’s bad when you have to keep swallowing it back into its rightful place. At least the ice I’ve been eating for the last half hour seems to be working. I think I’ll go back to sleep now and head to the doc in the box tomorrow. Wait, I’d better explain the tonsil thing. First, it’s definitely a fear of going under the knife. But more importantly, I’m not convinced that we won’t need everything we were given at birth somewhere down the road. It may turn out that the tonsils actually turn into some form of gills as evolutionary preplanning for the overpopulation of the earth and our eventual move into the sea. Or, who’s to say that the appendix isn’t some kind of reverse aging switch that is activated in a humans 150th year of life. It would be pretty cool to enjoy all that nap and play time without always wishing you were older. Remember a short 100 years ago they were using leaches to suck the ailment right out of you. The dentist was a barber with a set of pliers. Think how stupid the doctors of today are going to look over time. My favorite is when they finally debunk this imaginary clock that is under people’s skin. You go in because you feel sick, they cut into you and dam it if your countdown clock doesn’t have just three months left on it. That’s a pisser. Luckily the clocks are always round time periods and come with a disclaimer printed on the face. This is a guess at best. Please don’t hold the idiot giving you this estimate liable in any way. Your results may vary depending on driving conditions and regularly scheduled maintenance. 12:00:00 AM    says you