Friday, July 13, 2001

I’m trying to be a better all around person and then some ass-face in a $60,000.00 Stupid Useless Vehicle decides that after he has merged left in traffic no one else can get in line. Now I have to tell you that I saw this jack wad do one of my favorite (pull in front of the truck because it left so much room) tricks so I might have mentioned how smart I thought that was after he flipped me off. This might get a little choppy because I’m still a little steamed. Allow me to back up to the front. ? The road was reduced to one lane with no warning after the crest of a hill by a group of electricians. I don’t blame the electricians because they don’t, as a rule, screw every summer day up with lane blockages and I happen to be a big fan of electricity. OK so this is a pain in the ass but the same problem goes for all so the poor people stuck in the wrong lane just need to creep foreword until its our turn to merge in with the lucky people. Mr. German “mommy’s SUV” jerks in front of a big rig to my left forcing the guy to hit his air brakes and smoke the back tires just a little. Great, I immediately start counting just like in junior high when I had those dance units in gym to make sure me and this ahole weren’t pared up. With the every other one theory of alternating I would be two cars behind him easy. As luck would have it I somehow ended up mirror to mirror with this guy when it was my turn to get left. As I signaled and started to move over he lays on his prissy little horn and starts wagging his pointer at me. Ignoring his insignificants, I press on when he flips me off and calls ME an asshole! A quick assessment reassures me that Max is my only passenger so the swear light is all green. HEY DUMBFUCK. DID YOU EVER THINK THAT THOSE TRUCKS LEAVE SO MUCH ROOM BECAUSE THEY NEED IT TO STOP? WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO TAKE TURNS? FROM THE SAME FATHER THAT TAUGHT YOU TO BUY A WOMAN’S TRUCK? I had some color in his face and after remembering that the minivan wasn’t worth half of his glorified VW I was almost sitting beside him. He yelled something about my ass and I countered with something about next car he should spend a little less and pop for the sex change. (Remember, I’m driving a minivan but I’ll bet everyone he knows told him how cool his new Benz was so this was killing him.) I let him go ahead of me and I pretended to talk on the phone and laugh until he sped away. I felt a little better until I got to the bank. More ranting tomorrow. 12:00:00 AM    says you