Thursday, July 19, 2001

It’s quite a conundrum. The more email about how mean I’m being the meaner I get. My new official policy is pretend like I’m the only one in the room. I really do love this web log because it allows me to get a lot out that might otherwise be inappropriate. It also helps me cure that persistent creative itch that never seems to go away. I now know that’s why I get so antsy just sitting around. This has taught me that I need to feel like I have truly accomplished something every day. I know this doesn’t seem like much of an accomplishment, but beggars can’t be choosers. Besides, after the kids go to sleep I have no one to bother but myself. So I type away with no real direction and it gives me great joy. Back to the state of the family. I left off explaining that Liza’s calendar is overdrawn. I had one more thing to add before moving on. (This is where you may want to cut and paste for future court proceedings) The only way our marriage will end is with one of us leaving feet first. Now it’s Katie’s turn. I cannot describe how much my eldest daughter means to me. I demand more of her because she is the older. Not fair, but if I treated her the way I felt like she would be the dorky girl in the full body armor that wasn’t allowed to leave her Daddy’s side. I know these feelings are normal but she is different. Having started her life 3+ months early and under 3 pounds I would rather die than watch her go through anything else. Those months in the hospital were the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Thankfully genetics kicked in around her 3rd birthday and she hasn’t stopped growing since. My sensitive child is also my Tomboy. She would much rather play than any other activity. When her younger sister talks her into playing with dolls (usually bad weather preventing outdoor activity) hers always seem to be involved in some sport. I love and hate this at the same time. When she plays football with the neighborhood boys I have to consciously unclench my fists when she gets hit. I bark out warnings and the boys obey but then she gets mad because I’m not letting her play “right”. I want to give this child the world. She has more friends than I remember having at her age and her social calendar is booked solid. Thankfully I talked her out of traveling soccer. There will be plenty of time for that as her sister and brother become more manageable road warriors. Luckily Katie has her mother’s disposition, so we don’t butt heads much. Yet… 12:00:00 AM    says you