Thursday, July 26, 2001

Notes from the Dells Vacation Please understand that I had no reasonable way to connect and update. Every time George connected to the internet it cost him roughly $3.00 for 5 minutes. It takes me a half hour to hunt and peck through this thing and frankly it’s just not worth it. The stupidtom motto is if it costs more than the name did ($8.95) then it’s not going in the site. The next couple of updates will be expounding on all of the crumpled up notes that I’m finding everywhere as I unpack. These are written on the backs and fronts of everything so don’t look for a lot of sense or continuity. The first note is written in green crayon on a torn piece of Perkins menu. The note reads “taking all of our kids out at the same time is mental – Liza is either crazy or some type of mother savant. Max pterodactyl screams!” First let me tell you that I only spelled pterodactyl correctly because of spell-check. My version started with a t and did not include a p or y. I’ll explain this noise because I’ve already started down this road. Not one to let a little thing like not knowing our language get in his way Max has developed a blood-curdling screech to express his desire for just about anything. I hate to admit it but in every public place we went to he even had me waiting on him hand and foot just so he’d stop “the noise”. Coincidently, Max wasn’t a big fan of the water parks because his secret weapon had little effect with a background of screaming, drowning, and hoards of white bellies. The other thing that infuriated him was the fact that his sisters would just leave. In Max’s world this is completely unacceptable. When he screeches everyone is to report ready to do his bidding or else. This is a big part of the first portion of the note. Maybe it’s just me (I know it’s not because when George and I were golfing it was like we were on parole from Oz) but our beautiful children are brutal. I have to give Liza credit for taking them to the pool every day. If I were home with them in the summer they’d be those creepy little grey kids that were always presses against the window watching the rest of the neighborhood. I love them individually but as a group they turn me into a giant ball of anxiety. Katy loves acting goofy, (my fault#1) Maggie just wants attention even if it means doing something inappropriate to get it, (once again me #2) and Max believes that planets revolve around him. (strike #3) If this trip did nothing else it has showed me where I have balked with all of my children. Don’t get the wrong idea, we had a great time and are already planning next years adventure. But I have seen the results of Genetics and Parental interaction, and I’ve got some work to do. In case I’m not being clear: I need to act a little more normal around Kate, Arguing with Maggie until she gives up might not be the best tactic because I watched her pass it on, and his highness needs a smidge more discipline. My shoulders and my inner-tube are so burned that it hurts to type and I smell a little like bacon. I need another coating of burn cream. More tomorrow. 12:00:00 AM    says you