Monday, August 06, 2001

OK, I was jamming in way too many errands yesterday morning while Liza took all the kids to church. This was both exciting and a little scary. I thought I had another good year of Max and me at home watching all the pre-game hype that I love so much. Oh well, when it ends it ends. And if you believe that, I’ve got some GAP stock options that I could sell you for face value. (double the current trading price) back to the story, I’m running a little late as usual and Liza has to get to work so I am at a light jog through Dominick’s. I manage to buy almost three quarters of what my family needs and someone is looking out for me because there is an open lane! I unload about 50 things onto the belt when the checker says “Hun, could you hang this sign back up for me please?” you guessed it, the express 20 or less sign. Shit, I hate it when I’m behind an idiot and now I’m one of them. I apologized and she told me that in the morning they take the sign down because they only open one register. This doesn’t help me because now that I’ve replaced the sign there is a line of 5 or 6 cranky people with just a few things. I turn and apologize to the nice looking elderly woman who has her paper and cat food barely crammed on the belt behind me. I mumbled my explanation but obviously it wasn’t good enough because she had to start loud talking in my general direction so everyone could hear. The clerk came to my aid and tried to explain but she cut her off telling her that she just didn’t want any trouble. This made me smile which made the older woman angry and she turned and started a “can you believe…” with the gentleman behind her. I’m done, my debit card is processing, I’m not really looking for a fight as my entire family sits in church, so I’m going to gather my receipt and go. Nope. She has to go and try for the last word(s). she got me with a pretty good “doesn’t look like you needed all that food” so I countered with “I’ll bet they have some kind of crackers on sale to make your cat food go down a little easier” that’s the point when I realized that the clerk was shaking the receipt at me. I signed and started to walk out because my card was already leaving with the mentally challenged gentleman who bagged my stuff. I followed him out wondering if I needed to tip a guy that cart-napped me when I turned to see her flip me off. She couldn’t have made me happier if she had thrown money at me. Note to myself: If you want to survive the mean streets of elderly AH you need to bring your “A” game. 12:00:00 AM    says you