Wednesday, December 19, 2001

It’s the wee hours of the morning and Max just wants to hang out. I have taken a combo of decongestants that wouldn’t let me sleep in a cryogenic chamber so its nice to have some company. I need someone to hurry up and perfect voice recognition so I can stop this frustrating one handed typing. I finally started playing with my Christmas present tonight but I felt too crummy to enjoy it. I have a feeling that I’m going to turn into a Japanese tourist because I find myself obsessing over this camera and I have taken a grand total of twelve pictures. Time to go get the big and tall safari vest that will complete my new constantly-wearing-a-camera look. As my father before me, I need to perfect my child embarrassment look just before they begin to care. Although dad always managed a goofy-cool his threats of roller-skating in the high school field house worked like a charm. I on the other hand will be on a mission of confusion and intimidation. My children or their friends will never know if I am kidding or not and if my daughters suitors aren’t scared, I’m not doing my job. I’m looking for quotes like “your dad is constantly walking around plugged into the net but why does he carry that bat everywhere?” The beauty is that I only need to keep this up until the boy sleeping on my chest gets old/big enough to do surveillance work. Then my roll will be limited to radio communication with him and monitoring the tracking devices injected under the girls skin. 12:00:00 AM    says you