We moved a giant desk out of my soon-to-be-old office yesterday and left it in the garage as we went to do a call. When we arrived back at the station I was greeted by Barry and a huge smile. “I’d bet you that Timmy could flatten that thing in forty-five seconds.” This desk is taller than I am on its side and about four feet deep. I helped move the dam thing and knew it was heavy and tough. The thing was your basic Old School piece of furniture so I figured that it would be at least five bucks worth of entertainment. Barry tried to warn me that Timmy was like that orangutan Clyde from the Clint Eastwood movies but I wouldn’t listen.
I guess I should explain in case you didn’t know, Tim is RMT’s mechanic. Give him a job and it gets done. Basically he is a double extra large human tool. Physically he and I share more traits than not. He has more hair but I have less gut. I am a relative old man but he has a collection of tattoos (most of these self inflicted) that would make a schizophrenic envious. I don’t mean that they are poorly done but they are all over the road in content and composition. Anyway I probably digress because I’m still bitter. On with the desk smashing or, let the flat desk begin.
I made him start it in its designed position figuring that this would present its strength. I had no idea that his first move would be to open the center drawer and raise his foot up down and through. That out of the way he flipped the poor thing on its back and blew out the side with an impressive mule kick. The rest was like watching a mentally challenged ballet performance. He finished crushing the individual standing pieces with what I can only describe as MUTANT FROG ON ELECTRIFIED LILLY PADS.
My description might be a little off because things went by so fast and I laughed for the entire thirty seconds. This was the best five bucks that I have spent in a long time. I was so moved by this work of art that I even helped clean up the rubble.
As I reflect on jobs I’ve had I realize that you never really remember the long days of hard work but the sheer pleasure of fucking around stays with you for a long time.
10:58:43 PM 
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