The major problem with my current job is that these are some of the neediest people that I have ever encountered. My children don’t require this much maintenance. I am realizing the importance of basic survival skills for my kids. There are a couple of people down here that have lowered the “living on your own” bar. One of my people is so worthless that I will never allow a child of mine to enter the world without being at least twice as capable of dealing with life. Don’t take this the wrong way, I love the new gig, I just have some borderline retarded people working with me.
I should clarify my earlier statement about the kids. Before one of my children will be allowed out on their own they will have to possess minimum levels of common sense and intelligence. If they don’t meet those criteria I see it as my duty to correct the situation or turn them into the best Special Olympians possible.
I think my constant reminding, cajoling, and disciplining is making me miss everyone even more. I realize that most management is a form of babysitting but every time I enter another situation I keep hoping “this will be a group of low maintenance adults”. Things are starting to fall in place and I think almost everyone is on my page. Now if I could just get it into their collective heads that I am a bigger bullshit artist than they could ever hope to be. They had better ramp up the excuses because the warmer the weather, the busier we get, the shorter my fuse. The following is an excerpt from one of my morning meetings:
I have also scheduled an appointment for a dermatological cosmetic consultation. It would seem that I have the word sucker tattooed on my forehead in some type of ink that doesn’t show up in mirrors but is visible to the naked eye. As long as I’m getting that removed I might as well have the word asshole removed from the back of my neck. I know that’s there because people always read it out loud as I’m walking away.
8:04:03 PM 
|
