George W. Bush has apparently been kidnapped and replaced by a look-alike:

President Bush on Tuesday said he takes responsibility for the federal government’s failures in responding to Hurricane Katrina.

The kidnappers didn’t do their homework. Nobody’s going to believe their crude substitute is the real George W. Bush.

Okay, so Brownie is out. Resigned.

Under his management, FEMA rejected both pleas for help and offers of help. Even-handed. President Bush gave him a friendly slap on the back and said he was doing a “heckuva job.”

Well, the liberals got all worked up about the people left to die in New Orleans (a city with a strong French influence, by the way, which should tell you something about liberal loyalties).

They couldn’t attack President Bush. He had given up a couple vacation days. He had flown over the city in his big jet plane and looked out the window. He certainly could not be faulted. So the liberals focused on Brownie. Typical.

Brownie had come to FEMA with no previous emergency management experience, they said. His law degree was from an unaccredited law school. His résumé (French word) was full of distortions and outright lies, Time magazine reported. Liberals hinted that the Bush Administration had never bothered to check, ignoring the possibility that Brownie’s creative approach to facts was the very reason he was hired.

The liberals are always doing this. People neglected and dying in New Orleans? Blame Brownie. White House ignored August 2001 warning that Bin Laden planned attacks inside the U.S.? Blame National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice, now Secretary of State. Bin Laden allowed to escape at Tora Bora? Blame Gen. Tommy Franks (retired), now the proud recipient of a Presidential Medal of Freedom.

Iraq not a cake walk? Blame Paul Wolfowitz, now head of the World Bank. No WMDs in Iraq? Blame CIA director George Tenet (retired), another recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Civil order breaks down in Iraq after the defeat of the Iraqi army? Blame Paul Bremer, another retiree with a Presidential Medal of Freedom. Long-time allies turn against us? Blame Colin Powell. Torture at Abu Ghraib? Blame Rummy, or maybe White House counsel Alberto Gonzales, now Attorney General and possible Supreme Court nominee.

I could go on and on. You’ll notice the liberals never go after President Bush himself. He is the very model of competence and caring. Can he help it that he’s surrounded by all these screw-ups?

President Bush doesn’t let himself get distracted by these petty matters. He’s a Big Picture president with his eyes on the prize. Why, I’ll bet he’s already planning out how he’ll make up those two missed vacation days.