A SMALL VICTORY net -- Michelle has treated nearly a half million visitors to some quality observations in less than one year of blogging. No wonder -- look at her background. 1. I am a female. Do not send emails addressed dear sir.
2. I am 40 years old, chronologically. That would be 20 mentally and 5 socially.
3. I was married on August 25, 2002 (my 40th birthday) to the greatest man on the face of the earth, Justin. He is 22. Eat your heart out, girls.
4. I have two children. Natalie is on the verge of 13 and is exhibiting all the lovely traits that a teenage girl posseses. She is an aspiring author, photographer and basketball player. She has crappy taste in music. DJ is 9. He has claimed to be gay, Jesus, and a reincarnation of Elvis Presley. He is none of the above, though he does know how to shake his hips and he likes to wear his sister's dresses. He is the best baseball player in his league, so you best remember his name because some day your kids will be asking him for his autograph. If he doesn't become a baseball player, he will likely end up in the other chosen career for children like him; the guy who drives around with dead hookers in his trunk. I will be proud either way.
5. You say a bad word about my kids, you die.
6. I drive an SUV. If you don't like that, well....fuck you.
7. I have a serious case of penis-envy.
8. I work in the court system on Long Island. No, I can't fix your trial for you.
9. I collect comic books and action figures. I play video games. I am a child trapped in the body of an adult, and I intend to remain that way forever.
10. My CD collection can kick your CD collection's ass. Our DVD collections may get into a tangle, also. I'd win.
11. I am an arrogant fucker who never backs down from an argument. I will, however, back down from a fist-fight because I am a weakling and I avoid physical confrotation at all costs.
12. I stand by my convictions with a fierce determination. Don't try to sway me. You won't.
13. I used to be a liberal but got my ass kicked into the real world and out of my utopian dreams by the events of September 11. I'm not a right-winger but I play one on the internet.
14. I have nice tits.
15. I have a nicer brain. Please know the differences between the two.
16. I am prone to bouts of hostility. I have a mean streak a mile wide.
17. If I like you and consider you a friend, I will kill for you. I will give you every single thing I own if you need it to survive. I am passionately generous to good people. It's why I'm still poor.
18. I am not a soccer mom. I am a baseball and basketball mom. I am a class mom. I am a PTA mom. And I am as comfortable in a mosh pit as I am in a fourth grade classroom making Halloween crafts. I am not comfortable in cliques, therefore I do not belong to any. I am often spotted alone when not with my family.
19. My family kicks all ass. They are insane, immature, loud and obnoxious. They are also funny, generous, supportive and incredibly loving. I am lucky
Michele Catalano: Requisite About Page
x_ref125
|
|
-->
