licentious radio

Thursday, August 21, 2003
[8:50:48 PM]

Recall Bush! Regime change begins at home.

[8:46:27 PM]

Did you get your "Summer Civil Liberties Tour" t-shirts? John Ashcroft is stumping the states to end civil liberties by summer's end.

[8:39:55 PM]

Now we hear that Bill O'Reilly is not the only (alleged) empty-mouth right-wing lunatic who is too scared to face up to Conason the Barbarian. Looks like Ann Coulter -- the (alleged) treasonous slanderer is also too scared to look a straight-shooter in the eye.

[8:26:43 PM]

Did anybody notice how fast the California Republican propaganda switched from "character" to "failed leadership"?

It was just last week that the recall was all about character.

But this week we learned Schwwarzenegger had an affair with a child -- statutory rape in many jurisdictions, had a seven-year extra-marital affair, gave one sex partner a Sexually Transmitted Disease, and people started counting the number of confirmed gropings by His Arnoldness.

The Republican propagandists quickly switched to "failed leadership".

The "failed leadership" line won't last a week, because Davis's so-called "failure" was in defending California from Bush-Cheney cronies like Ken Lay. Now it turns out that when Davis was on the verge of victory, Ken Lay not only called on Cheney for help, he also called on Arnold. And Arnold came running. They stole $45 billion from California, and they wanted Arnold to help them steal more. But Davis's leadership was too good for them, and the game was already up.

FERC caved in almost before the ink was dry on Cheney's interview where he tried to claim his buddies weren't conspired to create the black-outs and blackmail-electric rates. Poor Arnold didn't even have time to get into the game. That's *Arnold's* leadership for you.

What will the Republican propagandists think of for next week?

[8:02:36 PM]
My parrot's at it again.

Every time another US soldier is killed, "Mission Accomplished".

Paranoid soldiers gun down a journalist for being brown-skinned: "Mission Accomplished!"

Oil pipeline blazing: "Mission Accomplished!"

Today we watched Rumsfeld tell reporters three times what the general in charge of Iraq thinks -- while the general was standing there. The general finally got a stupid look on his face and agreed to think what Rumsfeld said. "Mission Accomplished."

Rumsfeld's point was that we have enough soldiers in Iraq. Meanwhile, Bush sent Powell to the UN to beg for more soldiers. "Mission Accomplished!"

We checked that the White House had indeed changed its May webpage to read "end of major combat" rather than "end of combat". "Mission Accomplished!"

[7:54:57 PM]
Hee, hee. The "left" is calling Bill O'Reilly out.

People are calling him a pansy, a coward, a hypocritical meglomaniac, an empty-headed loud-mouth, a whiner.

Coward seems most appropriate, though he makes up for it by shouting.

I mean, if Al Franken can strip away O'Reilly's veneer, the man's in trouble if he ever comes up against somebody who isn't a hyper-angry comedian.

That's why we're leaving this one for Joe Conason. Conason the Barbarian is going to flail poor Billy like a Commanche war party on one of those white-guy scalpers. Before it's over, Billy's gonna see an apparition of the Virgin Mary, come to rescue his fragile ego from the hellfires of truth.

The rest of Poor Billy's career, he's never gonna go up against anyone over the age of 8. The good news is that his career will end as fast as a Michael Savage in heat.

So Bill... you got the balls to take on a grown up? You man enough to try walk the walk, or you gonna stick to shouting the shout, like always.

[7:41:44 PM]
"Presidunce George W. Bush".... It has a ring to it, don't you think?

[5:46:04 PM]
"O'Reilly won't have me on his show -- he's a coward." --Smoking Joe Conason

Billy Boy also seems to be a whiner. Maybe he could change his name to "Savage" and get a job on MS-NBC

[11:26:11 AM]
Is Bush responsible for the UN bombing?

He didn't drive the truck there, so no.

Would terrorists have bombed the UN mission in Iraq if Bush hadn't invaded? No. Bush's decisions created the situation in which those terrorists chose to bomb the UN building.

Would terrorists have been successful if Bush had done what was necessary not only to remove Saddam, but to provide security after the conquest? The first answer is that bombs and weapons are freely available in Iraq, and this is the very essence of inadequate security.

So yes, if someone were to take responsibility for inadequate security in Iraq, it should be Bush. He is the worst president in history. Will Bush *ever* take respsonsibility for any of his insanely stupid mistakes and make them right? No, of course not.

Was that bombing Bush's fault? Damn straight, it was.

[11:01:49 AM]
If Martha Stewart gets prosecuted because she got wind of trouble at her friend's company and sold her stock, what about Thomas White? He was appointed Secretary of the Army, and made *repeated* calls to cronies at Enron to help decide when he should sell his stock. Calls from his workplace.

Hello?

It's no wonder the donations to the Bush campaign are flowing in like protection money to the mafia -- the donations *are* protection money to organized crime bosses.

This is one dark season for democracy.

[10:57:18 AM]
A *big* problem for the Bushists -- the Red Crescent is identifying bodies of people killed during the invasion, and making a list of people missing and probably killed during the war.

After the first Bush war on Iraq, Saddam didn't want to publicize the number of his citizens who were uselessly killed by the Americans. But for the second Bush war on Iraq, we are likely to come up with a reasonably good estimate.

Americans will be shocked to learn how many Iraqis we actually killed. The government and military's propaganda lies were surely off by one order of magnitude, but true casualty figures could be even worse.

When the whole world find out how many were killed and starts asking what they died for, Bush and America are going to be in trouble. Our only defense has been that very few people were killed.

[10:47:13 AM]
Latest poll numbers on Bush....

"Re-elect": Bush is tied 43% to 43% with any Democrat. Al Sharpton would be in a dead heat with The Dimwit if the election were held today.

"Re-elect vs. someone new": Someone new beats Bush 48% to 43%.

Expect terrorism warnings to crank up to Orange Alert by September.

The good news, of course, is that as long as Bush imposes phony terror alerts on us, the job of the real terrorists is done, so they do not waste their efforts on new attacks in America.

[10:38:07 AM]
licentious, Fox settle lawsuit

New York City (licentious, fair and balanced) -- Fox News and licentious news service settled Fox's lawsuit today, ending the trial that some media observers had called "the media spectacle of the century".

Fox News sued licentious for using the phrase "Fair and Balanced", saying that the "Fair and Balanced" trademark stands for right-wing propaganda lies, hate-mongering, war-mongering, racism, faux patriotism, and stupifying the masses.

One of right-wing crank billionaire Rupert Murdoch's hired mouths insisted that "political satire and freedom of speech have no place in this country, because of the war on terror," and that *any* satire or criticism of the trademark could damage Fox News irreparably: "If our viewers somehow started to think 'Fair and Balanced' should mean a 'fair and balanced' approach to news, our ratings and revenue would decline, injuring Mr. Murdoch's ability to earn a living."

The fact is, we didn't *quite* 'settle' -- rather, when the judge saw that "licentious" and "licentious (fair and balanced)" are never capitalized, she ruled that we weren't abusing the Fox News trademark, which is always capitalized.

The court-ordered settlement is that we always use lower-case 'fair and balanced', that Fox News modify its trademark slightly to: "Fair and Balanced and Stupid", and that licentious pay Fox News 100% of our profits from the last fiscal year. We snuck that one in, because our profits were negative $40. So the judge ordered Fox News to send us a check within three weeks. We plan to throw a gala victory party for all of our readers with the proceeds.

[10:06:09 AM]
Stop the presses! Arnold makes his plan for California clear!

He's going to cut billions from the budget. Which billions? He won't say. He says you have to "cut" the patient.

We know what part of the patient the vile Republicans want to amputate -- they want to cut the children.

Arnold tells the children: "Don't spend more money than you have." So he takes away their health care.

Arnold's economic program is designed for eight year olds -- probably because that's the extent of Arnold's ability to analyze the economy.

Children don't face many economic decisions.

What would Arnold say to a family whose savings and jobs were stolen at gunpoint by Republican politicians? "Don't spend more than you have?"

Bush-Cheney cronies stole $45 billion -- the amount of the deficit. Ha ha ha. That's really funny Arnold. How about if your second career is stand-up comedy, instead of politics?

[9:57:20 AM]
Poor Bremer. What a fool.

The Iraqis should hold town meetings?

Iraq is a place where saying the wrong thing or helping the Americans gets you killed. Going out on the street during the day gets women raped. Driving your car is enough to get you shot dead by American soldiers. Heck, holding a camera is enough to get you shot dead by American soldiers.

Hold town meetings?

What are they supposed to say? "We want water, electricity, gasoline, jobs, safe streets, safety in our homes, safety for our wives and children, an end to crime, protection from being shot dead by American soldiers when we drive down the street."?????

You need a town meeting for that?

Mission Accomplished?

Bush is responsible for this mess. Bush is the worst president in history.

[9:52:18 AM]
Another bombing in Israel -- former Palestine.

True to history, as the terrorists proved willing to abide by the cease fire, Sharon assassinated a leader of one of the anti-occupation groups. Assassination is only terrorism when an enemy government or non-government group does it, of course.

True to history, the non-government terrorists responded to the state terrorism with bombings.

It is, of course, quite possible that the non-state terrorists would eventually get spooked by the prospect of peace, and start up again without a first strike by the government terrorists. We don't know, because that has never been tested. State terrorists have had to strike first, at least since the 90s.

Here's the first way you know the so-called peace process is phony: it relies on Palestinians attacking their own people, even while Israeli terrorism continues.

A true peace process would "win the hearts and minds" of the "Palestinian street". The Palestinian terrorists would be forced to stop, because their support would be gone. The West Bank and Gaza Strip are not huge places. Once the people believe they are getting a just peace, there is nowhere for the terrorists to hide, and nowhere for them to run.

Bush has already blown the best chance for peace -- the clean deal offered through the Saudis. He will go down in history in shame, for that act alone.

But when the weather cools, we could try again. We know most Israelis and Palestinians want peace, and we know what the peace will look like. Whether Bush and Sharon can continue to prevent peace, eventually they will be out of office and peace will come.