HP's Fiorina comments on IBM layoffs

Cupterino, CA.... Darth Fiorina -- having subjugated HP and taken over Compaq, much as Hitler's Germany took control of Austria -- commented on rumors of layoffs at IBM: "Once again, IBM is caught playing catch-up, and taking only half-measures. We announced massive layoffs long before IBM, and we're putting thousands more people out of work than they are." Darth also pointed out that her bonus for the firings will be five times what IBM executives will receive.

When Darth's message reached Wall Street Tuesday morning, the value of her stock options jumped $500,000.