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Thursday, September 30, 2004
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RFP for Anti Pigeon Missle System (APMS)
Pigeons poop. A lot. That's why i don't want them on or around our deck.
This is not a demonization of all pigeon kind. I have the proof. I feel i should
post a digital picture as support, but i'll spare your sensibilities. It should
suffice to say, the white stuff on our deck is not snow.
Until she passed away, Katie, our very Great Dane, was our Anti Pigeon
Missle System (APMS). When any pigeon would dare land on our deck,
Katie would fire off like a white hot rocket and scare the bagesus out
of the pigeons.
Before the Civil Rights for Pigeons Society phones, she
would not ever harm the pigeons. She would simply scare them away.
The pigeons eventually learned to go elsewhere.
What was tres cool about our Katie based APMS is that she knew
we only wanted the pigeons scared away. She would leave the
other birds alone. Even the doves, which look very pigeon like.
With our sweet Katie now gone, the pigeons are back So we need a new APMS.
Another dog based APMS is a possibility. We have another dog, Stout (as in beer).
Stout, however, is not very missile like.
I was thinking more of an R2D2 like robot with advanced pigeon recognition abilities.
On target aquisition perhaps R2D2 could shoot ice at the pigeons to scare them
away.
Why ice? Because ice will melt away and leave no evidence. Rubber bullets or
nuclear waste would leave a mess.
So that's my RFP. Any takers?
3:51:46 AM 
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© Copyright
2006
todd hoff.
Last update:
7/11/2006; 1:06:01 PM.
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