Broadcasting to an audience of three (and a goldfish)... Comment, ramblings and musings... life through the eyes of a Japanologist...   Thursday, June 27, 2002 Or there's this: "Very comfortable and great lookin faborable impre wear. It's a ve" Well, this one's easy. If it's impre wear, then it must be a T-shirt. I have to say, though, that as far as I'm concerned, the impre isn't ve faborable at all...      Speaking of time on one's hands, I've been collecting a few more choice examples of English. Or, to be more exact, of what passes for English here. So, without further ado, "We will support your life well formed" So, what is this then? T-shirt? Jelly mould? No, actually it's from... a set of drinking glasses. Obviously!      Some people just have too much time. This site is a complete record of everything in someone's house! It certainly puts the Breakfast Show into perspective...      BBQ      Marshmallows- kid being arrested      Given the superb weather, Wendy and I decided to have a barbecue. This is the first chance I'll have to try out my new shichirin (a sort of fire-bucket for cooking on), so it'll be like a 'shichirin-warming-party'... Anyway, we went shopping for meat, and in the process saw a completely different side to the lady in the shop near the office. It's not that she's unfriendly normally, but she tends not to say much, pointing to the price on the cash register rather than actually speaking. (This is quite probably because she's normally too busy bawling out enka songs, but that's a different story...) This afternoon, though, she was in the meat section, and what a change! As we got close, she asked straightaway what we wanted, and when I said we were going to have a barbecue, she'd chosen the meat and put a huge pile of it- enough to feed a small country, at a rough guess- on the scales. All in the merest blink of an eyelid! I finally persuaded her to take some of it, but only by telling her that I wanted bacon as well... I'm not sure in the end whether I don't prefer the normal, taciturn version... but at least there was no enka today...!      Call me inhospitable, but I'd really rather not get home and be greeted by a huge spider sitting in my genkan...      It wouldn't be too unreasonable to ask why I needed 10000 yen's worth of dollars in the first place, I suppose, especially given that it'll only make about 80 dollars, which isn't quite enough to go abroad with. Well, the reason really isn't that interesting, certainly not as interesting as the process of getting the dollars. It's simply that the membership card for the American Base in Kure finally arrived and so we're going tomorrow evening, and it's cheaper to pay in dollars rather than in yen. JMSDF submarines and warships in Kure      To be fair, another reason for my getting precisely nowhere with the Navy article is because I spent a fair part of the afternoon trying to change 10000 yen into dollars. We have a bank (a branch 'counter' of the local bank, just round the corner) on the ground floor of the office, and when I asked them if they could change the money for me, they (somewhat surprisingly) said there'd be no problem. Apart from the fact that I'd have to wait until some (unspecified) time after 2.30. Why, I'm not sure; all that was said was that it wouldn't be possible before half past two... Anyway, 2.30 came and went, and eventually I was summoned downstairs by a phone call. The form was simple, but problems arose when the lady asked me what notes I'd like. Well, avoiding the temptation to say something like 'C sharp' (such responses inevitably fall flat here), I asked what denominations there were, never having changed money into dollars before. Unfortunately, this was where the bank lady became stumped. She- I think- had even less idea of dollar denominations than I did! It was a very long story, but in the end we decided against asking for sixteen-dollar bills (her suggestion), and went with the more conventional five-dollar option. Neither of us were sure whether five dollar notes actually existed or not, but in the end, what's life without a little bit of excitement every now and again?      Still not much progress on the Navy article front. I did get as far as deciding on an implied question that I'd answer in the article- but that's about it. I really should learn to say 'no' to things like this...      Reimen for lunch today. Reimen is cold noodles in a broth (mustard optional), with cucumber, ham, and beansprouts. And seaweed. (No, it really is good.) It's only available in summer, making it one of those season-based Japanese dishes, like, for example, yukimi-daifuku. I can see why cold noodles are appropriate to a Japanese summer, but I'm not quite so sure why yukimi-daifuku- vanilla ice-cream covered in pounded rice (hence the name 'snow-viewing-pleasure')- should only be available in winter. Ice-cream... summer... perhaps I'm missing something here.      Speaking of Wendy (the ALT, not the hamburger chain), I picked her up from Kirikushi this morning, so I could go with her to the hospital (to interpret). Anyway, we managed to get seen by the doctor, who gave her some hot pads, and cold gel (nothing like hedging your bets, then...). He asked me to translate the instructions on the packets for her, which I did; from a very strong field of candidates, the following were the very best (for which, read 'most hilarious') pieces of guidance: For the hot pads (like big plasters with mentholated rub): Do not use over the eyes. (unless, presumably, you have a burning desire- no pun intended!- to make your eyes hot) Be sure to take the pads off more than 30 minutes before taking a bath. (why?) And for the cold gel (like mentholated rub, but- obviously- cold): Do not cover the area to which the gel has been applied with cling film or other plastics. (What! Does this imply that somebody actually did this?) It's somehow very pleasant to be able to get as much satisfaction from Japanese as from Japanese English... "Let's have joyful medical reading together!"      Reading Wendy's web-page, I notice she's kindly included a link to the Breakfast Show. Well, one good turn deserves another, so here's a link back.      "A rose is fragrant, alluring, and beautiful. Just like a rose, this tea will bring color [sic] and beauty to your life." This time, it's canned tea... I'm not quite sure of the similarity between tea and roses, though. What's more, I don't think I've ever had alluring tea, either...      At last, the fine weather looks like it's returned. Mornings like this are great- warm, but with a fresh breeze, keeping the humidity down. Even the air seems to sparkle, and it's as if the island across the bay is being viewed through a new pair of glasses: everything seems so much clearer and sharper than normal. Even the shiny tape used to scare off birds can be seen glinting up in the mountains above Washibe.      © Copyright 2003 Nathan Duckworth. Updated: 8/1/03; 8:13:01 pm.

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