Wednesday, November 27, 2002

i then went running in the basement on the treadmill. i had high hopes of going for at least an hour and maybe trying for two hours but i only lasted 30 min. the treadmill seemed to be at a permanent incline and that wasn't fun plus this pms was making my chest very sore and the bouncing wasn't helping. i thought i'd go again tonite but that didn't happen either.

after showering and eating lunch randy and i went to the salvage yard to pick up a part for his car. i stayed in the car where it was warm and talked on the cell phone to rob reed and mostly rich.

then we went home cause randy was all dirty and bleeding from ripping this car part off. we hung out for a little bit, fed the chickens (3 hens and a rooster) and then went into town (wichita) to pick up some wine for dinner and i wanted this pms supplement from gnc that is supposed to keep me sane during pms which i really hope works. oh i forgot to say on the way to the salvage yard we stopped at the hostess outlet and bought a bunch of bad stuff like twinkies. i am so bad!!

we came home for dinner and then watched some tv. i came up to my room early so i could talk on the phone. it's diana's birthday and i always forget so i wanted to wish her a happy birthday. i called jonathan too and he said he killed cleo cause she was annoying. now it's 11p and i'll try to sleep. after last night's post i tried to sleep too but i couldn't fall asleep until after 1a. ugh!!

we're having about 18 people over tomorrow so i hope it goes okay and i'm not too uncomfortable.

also i'm having trouble with my 's. i don't know when to use s and when to use 's. i'm getting stupider every day i'm afraid. can anyone out there give me a free english lesson?

goodnight

hi billy, i love you!
your mommy in kansas

11:05:02 PM  

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well i have so much to say i don't know where to begin. it's tuesday night, 11:24p and i'm in the small town of peck, kansas. randy stayed at my place until this afternoon and then we headed to peck. i don't know if i'll have an internet connection before i get back but i'm posting locally to my computer so at least you'll be able to read everything when i get back sunday night.

first of all it sucks that randy and i can't get along. it's no secret; everyone knows how we are around each other. i guess we've just decided that we're friends even if we can't get along.

so i'm at mr. and mrs. king's house and they are both very nice to me as always. we're watching tv and we're talking during commercials. randy's dad puts the tv on mute during commercials which i find funny, in a good way. anyway i was talking about my student loan debt and randy's dad made some comment to randy about thinking twice before he gets involved w/ someone w/ so much debt. then i'm a little uncomfortable cause that means his dad at least thinks we're dating and what if it comes up again for instance on turkey day when i meet his relatives. so later we go to bed and i ask randy if his parents think we're dating and he says 'yes' based on that same comment his dad made. he says he's told them several times that we aren't and he didn't know before bringing me here that they thought that. and he also says he doesn't want to be here; he's having issues w/ being home and hanging out w/ the folks for several days which happens to us all i think, so that makes me feel more uncomfortable cause if he doesn't want to be here why would i? anyway we go our separate ways, me in one bedroom him in the other. the rooms are referred to as north and south but i have no clue which is which cause i'm from liverpool, ny where we don't refer to things by their spatial location. it'd be more like the clean room and the messy room.

remember rich? well he called me for the first time yesterday since hanging up on me. he tells me he's very happy for some reason but can't discuss the reason right then. he makes me pretty agitated by calling since i don't expect to ever hear from him again. i tell him i have company and can't talk so he wants me to call him sometime when i can. i was freakin' out after that call. randy was trying to calm me down but i hadn't had much sleep the night before and i was just ready to go off i guess. luckily we went out for a few beers w/ jonathan and phil and i forgot about it. rich also called again last night and then caught me today and again i said i couldn't talk. john colbert, randy's friend from ku, had come to hang out w/ us today so i was entertaining the two by being a bitch, so i'm told, and didn't have time to talk. so anyway i just called rich to find out his story. it has to do w/ a girl he met 7 years ago and blah, blah, blah love at first site and now he's found her again and she came to visit last weekend but she's getting married and what does he do. it's very hard for me to care about this story especially since he contacted her while he was still my boyfriend and while i am fine that we are no longer it's still difficult to listen to this story. rich still wants to be friends, he hung up on me cause it was hard for him to accept me dumping him and he wants me in his life still. we didn't talk for too long cause then this girl called a second time and he went to talk to her. things like this just upset me.

what else can i blab on about? i have no dogs to sleep w/ tonite. miss cleo i miss you. randy called and asked his momma if you could come w/ us and she said okay but you wouldn't have been allowed inside. i knew you'd be in better hands w/ jonathan. he'll baby you and keep you inside and let you in his bed so i decided to leave you. thanks jonathan!!

i had fun hanging out w/ randy and john today in aggieville. it was different hanging out w/ my friends instead of someone else's. i was more comfortable.

i got a small part of my physiology test back yesterday. it was out of 50 points and i was sure i failed this part cause i studied this material the morning of the test for about 20 min. turns out i got 36/50 which is 72%, passing. there's still the 120 point part left to be graded so i'm not sure overall if i passed but i did study some for this part so i'm hoping i did better.

yesterday this kid in my class made a very stupid comment while talking to a few people between lectures. it was something like 'when i woke up this morning i could see the bottom of my 6-pack since i didn't eat yesterday.' dude you're so cool! that's something i myself might think (if it was true which at the moment is not, though i do aspire to have a 6-pack someday) inside my messed up head but not something i would say in the middle of the lecture hall.

i was going to try and give up candy and soda. why is this so hard for me?? why did my dad have to pass down his 'i will eat all the candy and soda and bad stuff i want cause i'll run it off' gene and my mom's 'i only eat rabbit food' gene has no affect on me? jonathan took me to the grocery the other day cause i couldn't pay attention in class cause i was daydreaming about eating candy and i threatened to torture him w/ a 'queer as folk' marathon if he didn't. that last part isn't actually true cause i think he knew he had no choice so i didn't have to threaten him but that would be fun torture! so anyway i bought lots of sale halloween candy and other stuff. of course i instantly eat way too much for several days in a row and feel like a big fat jabba the hut but think i'm getting it out of my system and then i'll never need to eat it again. also i'm out of soda and consciously decided not to buy more. i did go all saturday without drinking any but caved when i went to the movies w/ randy on sunday. but still i don't have any in the house. so this morning i woke craving a soda so bad i got up at 6a and had one of jonathan's mountain dews and then went back to bed. what is wrong w/ me? and then i've been eating so bad the last couple of days. i'm hoping it can be explained by pms. i really need to get this under control. also i haven't gone running since friday night which is horrible because i'm supposed to be training for a marathon. i'm hoping that while i'm at randy's i run on their treadmill or outside at least once a day or maybe twice if i can to make up for the lost mileage.

i've been talking so much. now it's after midnight. i got my second email from a stranger about my website. he's a farmer/track coach in oregon who came across my site searching for vet websites. we've exchanged a couple emails and i forgot to ask why he was searching for vet websites. i'll have to ask.

i hope everyone has a nice thanksgiving. i'm going to miss my mom's cooking and our traditional day after outlet mall christmas shopping spree.

i miss lots of stuff about not living near my family. i hate that my cousin tammy's triplets are now over a year old and i'm going to miss them growing up. tammy and i have always been really close and i'd like to have a bigger part in her life and her family's life. it'd be neat if we lived near each other and i could go over anytime and see the babies and hang out and babysit. but at least while i'm in kansas that just isn't going to happen.

i guess i'm going to go to bed now so i can get up at a normal time tomorrow and run some fat off and maybe study some for gross anatomy lecture. is it a bad sign that i haven't said much about vet school in this post? i'm very distracted!

12:19:40 AM  

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