& thou shalt HONOR

Ann and I ran into Fred Mah the other night. Well, "ran into" isn't exactly how it happened. Fred is a 95 year old Chinese American who lives across the street from a place we rented about 20 years ago. It's wierd to hear myself say "20 years ago" in relation to California. Three weeks out of Boston - as we flew through the Texas Panhandle, Nancy Griffith and Albert Collins tapes distorting through our car's lousy speakers, who could imagine how things would turn out?

Anyway, like I said, Fred's 95 years old. He was sitting on his porch under soft yellow light, wearing a knit hat that made him look Tibetan. It was Halloween. He was holding a tiny plastic pumpkin full of candy, a big old dog by his side. 

During our brief visit, memories returned like ghosts to an abandoned shack. The year we lived across from Fred was not very good. When we said goodbye, I tried to memorize the scene, and the crumpled map of a lifetime etched upon his face.

Folks like Fred, with no living family and in his own home, are almost unheard of (especially in America). This makes me think back on a TV show on PBS that Ann and I saw about a week ago. It was called "& thou shalt honor":

a warm and caring look at family caregiving, telling the stories of the caregivers, those they care for and the professionals who struggle with an underfunded and often misunderstood system.

Anyone with elderly parents (or who knows someone severely disabled) -- will understand why there isn't any subject that is more important (and frightening) to us. Please take a look. Thank you.