Being Where We Are

There are some people who are never happy where they are. They're always trying to get somewhere else. For them, the present is a line they're waiting in, the means only to some other end.

A man sat two seats over from me on the plane today. He was across the aisle from his family. His wife had the two kids with her. He was bouncing his leg and making cell phone calls before we took off and balancing his checkbook while she was dealing with squabbles and quarrels and wiggliness.

He's a businessman, I suppose. He's got a lot of things on his mind, granted. But this was a chance he won't get often: to sit with his kids with work far away.

As it turned out, eventually they had to move one of the kids. (They were in each other's hair as siblings can be.) The man picked up the little boy (picked him up with the loving hug of a dad) and plopped him into the seat between us. I smiled at him, and I winked at the boy.

Is it ok? the man asked me in a low voice with an apologetic grimace on his face.

Absolutely, I said as I winked at the boy again.

And as we flew across Colorado and back to Central Texas, the father proceeded to try to get the boy to take a nap. The thing is, the boy was doing fine. He was utterly entertained, noiselessly tugging on his seat belt and playing with a picture of an airplane. But the man wanted him to nap.

After a while, I heard the man say to the boy, You are being very bad. The boy didn't respond. Did you hear me? the father persisted. You are being very bad. Do you want to play downstairs when we get home? The boy was still silent. Then take a nap.

Now, it's always easy to play armchair parent in situations like these. But as I sat there and listened, it seemed to me that the man didn't want to be in the airplane. He wanted to be working. He wasn't happy where he was. He only knew where he wanted to go. Problem is, he'll never get there.

We are only where we are. And this man's life might be passing him by.

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