A Tube of Caulk

Anyone will tell you: I am not a handy-man. These are the hands of a paper engineer. These are the hands of a software man. These are not the hands of a handy-man.

My grandmother knew it. My wife knows it, too.

So you might imagine the courage it took for her to go along when I said I would disconnect and reconnect the sink when we had the counters redone.

The workmen did the job quickly. By evening there was little evidence left, except for the neat new look of our kitchen. ... And the sink. It was still disconnected.

Although I was hungry and had even less of a home improvement attitude than usual, I had promises to keep. So I took the sink out to the garage for a thin clear line of silicone caulk.

I pulled the trigger. Nothing. And I pulled again. Nothing. And again and again. Still nothing. I pulled and I pulled until I gave up. But as I set the gun down, I noticed silicone oozing all over. Clear goo all over the tube and the gun. Everywhere except where I wanted it to be.

This is my life, I said to Trudy when she came to see. It's always the simple things with me. Who ever has trouble with their tube of caulk? I confess, it felt like defeat.

She looked at the directions (which I had read three times, I might add).

'Pierce the seal,' she read.

Did that, I said. Look at the tip.

No, she said. It says 'Pierce the seal and then cut the tip.'

Oh, I said. I was thinking that 'Pierce the seal' was a strange way to tell me to cut the tip.

T'was ever thus.

10:34:22 PM   permalink: []   feedback:   comments: []