Brotherly Burdens

We carry the burdens of our childhood with us through our lives. But I am blessed with small ones. Interestingly enough, many of them involve my brother. I call them brotherly burdens.

Hid and Seek. I used to ditch my brother and little cousin, Jenny. Her brother and I would be on one hide-and-seek team, and we'd make them be the other team. Then zoom we'd run away. I carry that burden with me every day.

The couch. When my brother and I were young, before we got separate bedrooms, he and I were goofing off in the TV room. It later became his bedroom, but at the time it had the TV in it and a large wicker-backed antique couch. He pushed me. I pushed him. And (in slow motion) he fell, his elbow gashing the eight-foot long continuous sheet of antique caning on the back. I carry that burden with me every day.

The white coat. My brother always liked his clothes. He chose them with great deliberation and treated them with care. He still does. He gets this from our father. In 1971 or so, he got a new white coat. One day in winter after the snows had come, we were outside, and I started throwing snowballs. Stop! he said. You'll get my coat dirty. I think I stopped. But I thought mean thoughts about him and his dang winter coat. (Get it dirty!? From snow!? That kind of thing.) I've carried the burden of those thoughts with me every day.

Easy burdens. Brotherly burdens. But burdens nevertheless.

So the other day I got a birthday package in the mail. It had many interesting things, artwork by nieces, a little antique suitcase, cassette tapes. And then there was a set of headphones. Black, Pioneer headphones with padding and separate left/right volume controls. I knew them on sight.

These were Ben's, I said to Trudy. When we were growing up.

I always wanted to listen to them. He usually wouldn't let me. And when he did, he watched me like a hawk and waited until I handed them back.

Of course, this wasn't the exact same pair. He got them on eBay. He went out and found them and sent them to me for my birthday.

I figure he had a little brotherly burden of his own.

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