Sidewalks and Conversations and Net Neutrality

Susan Crawford has the best one-line summary of the net neutrality issue that I've heard so far:

There's no reason why the single sidewalk available should be allowed to monetize the interesting conversations taking place above it.

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He Doesn't Get Out Enough

0. Prologue

He telecommutes from home. He was going stir crazy in the late afternoon when Trudy got home. So they went out.

1. The Bookstore.

The first stop was a bookstore, where Trudy had a gift-card transaction to complete. She got in line, and he disappeared into the store.

At first he wandered into science fiction. Up one aisle, down another, periodically poking his head over the shelves to see if she was done. Then comic books. Then role playing games. After a while, he wandered back.

As he walked up, Trudy smiled. He smiled back and then turned to look at some left-over Christmas fare sitting on a table. Bells. Shiny things. Red and green. On sale. Then he wandered away again.

To the computer section. Then personal finance. Roman siege engines. Every couple steps he'd check on Trudy, and periodically he'd see her and the clerk looking over at him. He'd wander back, but there was some difficulty, so he'd wander off again.

Books with old photos of Native Americans. Books about Pompeii. Books by women angry about men. Flash-in-the-pan novels with brightly colored covers to grab your attention.

Periodically the clerk would look over at him wandering in some distant aisle. She had a worried look on her face. He was wandering too much. He looked lost. Why wasn't he frustrated that the transaction was taking so long? And what about the goofy contended look on his face?

2. The Drugstore.

The second stop was a drug store, and Trudy had to wait in line. So off he wandered.

He found a pillow in the shape of a can of Sprite. He poked his head around the corner. Holding up the can, he made a what-do-you-think? face. She smiled.

He found two little copper pot scrubbers and held them up with a we-need-these face. She laughed and shrugged. Then he held up two steel pot scrubbers and asked her which she preferred, copper or steel. She made him choose.

And he found radio pillows — fuzzy, soft, purple with sparkles and a speaker near your ear. And a lime green fleece blanket. And then another but in a better shade of lime and with a pillow to boot. He took it back to Trudy and held it up in triumph.

She laughed and asked, You want that!?

He shrugged and went to sit in a nearby massage chair. The buttons were broken but he poked at them, anyway. A green light lit up and the chair started to click sickly and massage vaguely. He poked at another broken button, and the chair clicked in a different place. It was then that he realized he couldn't turn the chair off.

I can't turn it off, he muttered. Trudy laughed.

I can't turn it off, he said to a man sitting next to him. Don't ask me how I turned it on, but I can't turn it off.

The sickly clicking continued, and now Trudy was ready to leave.

He laughed and looked at the man. I'm so sorry to do this to you. And he set the broken controls down in the still-clicking chair.

Are you really going to get that pillow and blanket? she asked him as they walked off.

No, he said.

3. Epilogue

She thinks he doesn't get out enough.

12:04:53 AM   permalink: []   feedback:   comments: []