Getting Vertical

1. The Preparation

Nurse Paul came in and asked everyone to leave the room. It was the day after my surgery, and he was going to get me vertical.

I get very light-headed, I warned him. I have been thru this enough times to know what happens and to know that nurses like to know ahead of time if there might be trouble.

He looked up at me with a blank stare and then smiled wryly. Oh, you'll get up alright. There was a tone in his voice and a look on his face that suggested he thought I was trying to back out.

He had me flatten the hospital bed. You won't have an angled bed at home, he said. Then he showed me how to roll onto my side, making sure I didn't touch the rail on the side of the bed. You won't have a rail, either. It seemed we were going to do this the hard way.

It took me a while, but I rolled over. A while longer and I managed to lower my legs slowly off the edge of the bed. Even longer and I got my torso upright. I could already feel some fuzziness, but I figured I could make it to the chair.

2. The Attempt

Paul had other thoughts. He had me stand, and as I stood there he began to roll my IV pole out for a walk. This took a while, and my fuzziness grew thicker, and ringing started in my ears. I think I said something about just sitting on the first try. He said not and started me in the direction of the door.

The fuzziness was thick. The ringing was loud. And I was getting hot. I knew that I didn't have much more time.

I need to sit down, I said, I'm going to black out. And I turned to the chair and lowered myself down. I bet my face was white.

I don't remember what Paul did. All I remember is soon the head nurse was in the room asking if I was sweating. Paul didn't check me, he just said, No he isn't. I was covered in cold sweat from head to toe.

Yes, I am sweating, I muttered. She felt my forehead. She said something like, Oh my, and in no time they had me hooked up to the blood pressure machine. I opened my eyes long enough to look up when it beeped -- it was 55 over something.

They had me sit in the chair a while, but things didn't get much better (although my blood pressure climbed to 76 over something). Soon I announced, I need to get back in bed. I guess the two of them helped me back onto bed. I don't really remember that, but I do remember lying my head back on the pillows and gratefully closing my eyes.

3. Afterwards

That's just not normal, Nurse Paul told me. You've got a neurological problem or a cardiac problem. You need to see a doctor. And he invited everyone from the hall back into the room, telling them that things had not gone well.

Trudy and my brother came in and sat near the bed. Was my dad there? Was Ben? I don't remember. My eyes were closed, although I do remember that Paul soon left the room.

He didn't believe me, I told my brother. The nurse didn't believe me when... and Nurse Paul walked back into the room, looking over at me.

I felt busted tattling on him, so I asked, So Paul, why do you think I had trouble? He came over to the bedside and repeated his diagnosis: I had a neurological or cardiac problem. It's just not normal to almost black out like that. My brother suggested an alternate explanation, but this didn't stop Paul's diagnosis, which he kept repeating over and over.

To his credit, I don't think my brother ever identified himself as a doctor. He was remarkably quiet for quite some time, and it wasn't until Paul's prognostications were grating on even me that my brother spoke firmly about other explanations in a tone that finally shut Paul up.

The next day, I was no longer on the morphine drip. And Nurse Mary Ann encouraged me to angle the bed way up high. And she told me to use the rails to pull myself over. And she said to start with I should just sit in the chair beside the bed.

I was walking in no time.

9:25:48 PM   permalink: []   feedback:   comments: []  

Night Flower

A wild sunflower stands in the yard in the back, seven and a half feet tall with three palm-sized yellow blossoms at the top.

And even though it is night now and the yard is completely black, I know it is out there, soaking up the rains we've had, waiting for tomorrow's sun.

12:15:10 AM   permalink: []   feedback:   comments: []