A Question Mark Is All That Remains

Early in the morning, way before the rising sun, I lay there in the darkness with my eyes wide open, my mind racing and all hope of sleep long since lost. Into and out of my head things worth writing streamed one after another. And after an involuntary silence as long as this one has been, I started trying to remember the things worth writing so that when I finally got up, I could jot them down and write more later.

But as I remembered two, a third would pop into my head and drive the first away. And so I would lie there struggling to remember the first and then the second and then the third.

But as I remembered the three, when a fourth popped into my head, it drove the first and second away. And so I would lie there struggling to remember them all and realized that the only way to do it was to remember four words that would remind me in turn of each gem that I so wanted to write about.

There was "angry". Here I lie, it was supposed to remind me, at 4:00 in the morning, angry. Who wakes up in the dark in the silence in the wee hours of the morning angry!?

There was "Valentine's Day". It was supposed to remind me of something, and it's almost on the tip of my tongue, but I'll be darned if I can recall it. I think it was something funny. Certainly it must have been something witty. Sadly, we'll all just have to take my word for it.

There was "tired". And here is where things start to fall apart. For although I went over these words time and time again in my head as I lay there in the dark, I'll be darned if I can remember what on earth "tired" was supposed to remind me of. And it's all the more frustrating because I was anything but tired, lying there in the darkness way before the sun with my eyes wide open.

And finally there was ... I don't know. I just can't remember the last word at all. When I got up in the morning and wrote the words down, I sat there in my morninggloom trying to tease it out of the crevasses of my declining memory, but there was nothing to be found.

And a question mark is all that remains.

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