Bathroom Adventures

1.

When we went to the Cat in the Cream to watch some of the Conservatory kids perform, I wandered down a hall, around a corner, down some stairs and into a locker room that looked as if it hasn't been used in a very long time. The lockers were grey and rusting. The ceiling felt low. The hallway felt like a tunnel. But in the back of the locker room, I found what I was looking for: the bathroom.

A day later, I retraced my steps to the same place to change into my dancing clothes for the Swing Dance that was open to parents. There was nowhere to sit. ... Well there was somewhere to sit. But fortunately, there was another where to sit: a single, lonely chair sitting against the by a doorway into some dark room. I chose the chair.

That was my first bathroom adventure. Old building. Dark tunnel-ish halls. I felt like I was in a multiplayer role playing game.

2.

In my second adventure, the building was older, and the hall was darker and tunnel-ish-er. Ben had been giving us a tour of the Bicycle Co-op, which has storage and mechanics rooms in the basement of Keep Cottage. As he finished the tour, I saw a bathroom and told him I'd catch up.

As it turned out, I'm not sure this bathroom was ... shall we say ... on the list of approved destinations for Parents' Weekend. There were bottles of ... something oily and brown on the floor. The walls were bare, rough concrete. The porcelain since was stained in rust orange. Old pipes came down the walls, and a steel rod stuck up out of the floor an inch, waiting to capture some victim who had strayed from the straight and narrow. And the toilet, well the water was running, but that's about all I can say.

So let's move on to adventure number three.

3.

After dinner, I asked Ben where the bathroom was. He pointed to the stairs and warned me that it's multi-gender. Fine. I can lock the door. No biggie.

I excused myself as I wound my way between four girls sitting on the stairs eating quesadillas. And I found the bathroom just where Ben had said it would be. It was dark inside, but there was a switch just inside on the wall. I flipped the switch. A fan came on but no light. I looked outside the door. No switch. I flipped the switch again off and on. No light, and the bathroom was dark. I felt on the other wall. No switch.

Time was ... shall we say ... wasting. I could see a sink and the toilet at the end of the narrow room, so I walked in and shut the door behind me. Pitch blackness except for a little light coming in thru the window at the far end. I reached down to lock the door. NO LOCK. Oh for heaven's sake. A multi-gender bathroom with NO LOCK? I fumbled around, certain there must be a lock. I found none.

Time was still ... wasting. So what the heck. Live on the edge. I felt my way toward the window and the sink and the toilet. And there I found a light switch. So I went about my business as quickly as I could ... but not quickly enough. The door opened. Fortunately, the toilet was partially hidden in an alcove and my shins and feet sticking out were evidently enough to tell the unfortunate soul at the door that he/she had walked in on a ...

CLUELESS PARENT

Ben says there is a lock on that door!

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