AQABA, JORDAN- The slow but steady progress at the recent US-led peace summits have bolstered hope that the stalemated conflict between Israelis and Palestinians might soon change for the better. Only a few years ago the very idea of top-level meetings between the two sides appeared impossible, the potential for lasting and meaningful peace seemed too remote to contemplate.
However, just as a cessation of hostilities in the region looks possible, one x-factor remains. Palestinian militant groups, long opposed to the peace process, could scuttle the whole thing with a single suicide bombing. As Prime Minister Mahmoud Abbas knows all too well, something has to be done to keep groups like Hamas in check. President George W. Bush, overcome with a newfound interest in the situation, has stepped in with a bold solution: midnight basketball.
In recent days Bush has come out solidly in favor of Palestinian statehood, a clear signal that his administration wants to do right by the Palestinian people. Bush has said publicly that he wants to meet their needs, whether they be housing, economic assistance, or late night athletics- just not the right to return to their homes in Jerusalem.
Bush's plan is modeled after the same type of program that has done so well for America's urban young, getting at-risk teens off the street and out of trouble.
"The problem as I see it is that these young people in Palestine have nothing else to do, so blowing themselves up sounds like fun," said Bush. "Give them some structure, teach them teamwork and goal-setting and they'll become contributing members of society. Who's going to mope about decades of bloodshed and economic oppression when you've got a chance to nail a game-winning three-pointer at the buzzer?"
Understandably, Bush has high hopes for Palestinian midnight basketball [which due to the time difference actually occurs at 4pm daily]. And it seems like the program might already be making a difference as this recent play-by-play illustrates:
Ahmed at the top of the key- he sets. He throws the rock. No, really, he throws a rock at a passing Israeli tank.
Although White House officials could point to no actual data showing the effectiveness of such programs, they assured broadcasters that the Palestinian Midnight Basketball League would generate great video as well as several dozen Pulitzer-friendly human interest stories.
Many political observers have noted disdainfully that the President has only recently shown interest in the peace process. Some argued that Bush wished to avoid embroiling himself in the messy, seemingly intractable diplomatic gridlock.
Yet as White House spokesman Scott McClellan told reporters on Thursday, the President only heard of the problem a few weeks ago.
"Secretary of State Colin Powell and National Security Adviser Condolleeza Rice met with the President earlier this month and read aloud from My First Big Book of Foreign Policy and explained the Israeli/ Palestinian situation in some detail. Needless to say, the President decided that something must be done immediately."
McClellan said that although the President picked up on the material quickly, Rice reportedly had to explain several times that Israel is not "the place where Bagels come from."
Later this month White House aides plan to explain the concept of "the working poor" to the President with the help of several pop-up books and old blues songs.
AQABA, JORDAN- The slow but steady progress at the recent US-led peace summits have bolstered hope that the stalemated conflict between Israelis and Palestinians might soon change for the better. Only a few years ago the very idea of top-level meetings between the two sides appeared impossible, the potential for lasting and meaningful peace seemed too remote to contemplate. 
