101 Crazy things you can do with dog poop:
- Make an impossible ordinance that will drive even the most law-abiding citizen to sneak dog poop where it doesn't belong: Add flush to 'poop and scoop' Canada 'A City of Ottawa committee has approved a bylaw prohibiting dog owners from disposing of their pet's waste in park garbage cans. The city doesn't care whether people throw the feces into their household trash or flush it down the toilet, they just don't want to haul it out of the park... ' ]
- Start a website... better yet, a weblog! Strange foreign objects in dogs' feces Well, I don't know how we got here ... the web can fling you to strange places if you give it an inch... (it must be all those dog poop stories in the news (mostly from the UK) This amusing site will have you in stitches ... SFODF's motto is "SFOIDF In The News
No politics. No death. No violence. Just the important news you're depending on...." All we can say is ...hey, great...
- Start a poop war ... less deadly than a war with Iraq and more fun... Paris fights the good fight... making war on dog poop Paris gets new artillary in the war on dog feces... better automated pooper scoopers and tougher laws. Authorities estimate than only 16 tons/day get scooped up, a mere 20% of the dog cr*p deposited daily... 'Visitors to Paris have long remarked the minefield under their feet: the dog poop that litters the streets despite the efforts of a small brigade of municipal motorbike riders using special vacuum hoses to clean the canine crud...' [Discovery Travel Channel] (hmm... these statistics imply that Paris was buried in poop long ago... ) If you want France to take part in a war with Iraq, tell them about Iraq's dog poop violations (a good use of flyovers too).
- Dog-fouling detectives go undercover In the UK, dog cr*p is a big problem; well, it's a big problem everywhere else too. "Undercover surveillance could be used to crack down on dog-fouling in Copeland. The council's enforcement team have announced they are prepared to use "all action necessary" to stamp out on the nuisance." [does 'necessary' mean more violent means are possible: could we have a poop war?]
- Use GPS to map doo ... and annoy people too... a new tool in the war on drug smuggling. who knew?
- Go on doggie poop patrol: the low-tech way. If you don't have GPS, tag poop with flags. Jim Ducie spent one weekend at Nebraska's Memorial Park city park placing small, yellow flags to mark places where dogs left behind deposits. less expensive... just as annoying. [GoUpstate.com]
- Have your dog take the pledge... a 'boy scout pledge for dogs'
- Hold a professional convention on dog poop... What goes in ... must come out! NJ At the Pow-Wow of Pooper Scoopers, Kevin Mahoney, of the board of trustees of the Association of Professional Waste Specialists, shared his expertise in the science of sleuthing out dog poop... [Parsippany Daily Record]
- WatchDog Doo: Budget Burglar Deterrent Your kit includes a 'Beware of Dog' sign along with five piles of realistic dog poop designed by a Hollywood special effects artist. 'It's perfect for people who don't own a dog and can't afford an expensive burglar alarm system.' The idea is that would-be thieves will see the sign, notice the lifelike piles in the yard and assume a watchdog is in the house....
- Capture a stupid criminal... Let doggy doo guard your store... Doggy poo on a shoe ... captures the crime and robber Queensland 'It's not rocket science. It's as plain as poo on your shoe,' Sgt Piper said today' ... about the fact that the dog poo a robber stepped in became the perfect imprint medium and led to a positive ID of the criminal's shoe (and thus the criminal). Turns out the robber stepped in a lot of cr*p right before he committed his crime... September 19, 2002
- Get Corporate America trading up to pooper scooper jobs Pet Sitters International research showed that the largest percentage of new dog sitters traded in their management jobs for professional pet sitting. Most said the career change allowed them to return to core values that included a love of animals and the desire to earn a living by doing something they enjoyed... [PR Newswire via iWon via Rocketinfo.com] Let them start pooper scooper businesses... and steal dog poop instead of pensions...
- Dog feces at triple murder scene linked to suspect's shoes OR "One in 10 billion. Thatís the statistical chance that two different dogs deposited the feces police found on a suspectís tennis shoe and on a sidewalk at an upscale home near Lakeville after a triple homicide there in September 2000." ...there is just one chance in 10 billion of another dog having the same DNA. And there are only 57 million to 60 million dogs in the United States." [South Bend Tribune]
(Case closed, it seems ... unless the dog's cr*pped all over the city)
- Reshape the dog's poops into one big'un and then alert the press: Bear might have visited residence NM A woman and her dog slept soundly while a bear ransacked her yard, ate her bird seed and rummaged through her trash cans. The only tell-tale evidence was a very large pile of poop left behind: "it must have been a big bear because it was a big pile of poop..." [Santa Fe New Mexican] (If she didn't live so far from the DC area, I'd swear that was my dog's mischief and not the bear's... )
- Send your poop jokes and lyrics to Triumph, the insult dog, releases "dog poop", er.. dog rap record Triumph the Insult Comic Dog (dog hand-puppet correspondent on "Late Night with Conan O Brien"] is releasing a rap record... His publicist said:
The hand-puppet correspondent for "Late Night with Conan O Brien" drops "Songs in the Key of Poop" sometime this winter... (censored) ... Says Triumph: "This is going to blow the roof off the whole dog world." [NY Post: Page Six]
- Make dog poop sculptures and have an exhibit.. If dead dogs are art, why not poop... Is it art or is it roadkill? Dead dogs in art exhibit Chile "Animal rights activists in Chile are protesting against an artistic exhibition composed entirely of dead dogs. Antonio Becerro found the dogs dead on the streets of Santiago. He then stuffed them, painted on their fur and arranged them in different poses..." Becerro's hilarious dismissal of the animal rights activists protesting his art exhibition: "They are stupid and can get lost. It's not my problem that they can't think properly." What's next? painted dog poop? pictures of dog poop? stuffed dog turds? [www.Ananova.com]
- Invent a product to keep the neighbor's dog from pooping in your yard: Have you heard about 'Crap-Away' ? Some enterprising person has come up with a sign that dogs can read -- because as he says: dogs CAN'T read... Forty seven tons of dog poop is deposited on the sidewalks and streets of New York every day. "
Here's where 'crap-away' comes to the rescue. You sprinkle it on your property (so safe, he claims you can sprinkle it on your food too ... mmmm) and dogs avoid it like the plague...
- Put peanut butter on it... Dog poop, the endless problem Even in Alaska, dog poop has city Anchorage officials stumped in trying to deal with its disposal. A devious use of peanut butter holds promise...
- Make a pile of money from dog poop when you join the 'Association of Professional Animal Waste Specialists'.... To the pooper scooper, poop smells like money... $20,000 a month is nothing to sneeze at and that's easy to make, Sir Scoop says. When doody calls, Sir Scoop answers 'A whole cottage industry of scoopers has emerged around the country in recent years, from Scoopity Doo Dog in Oceanside, Calif., to Yucko's in Missouri to Clean Scoop in Philadelphia. This year, the pooper scoopers started a trade association called Association of Professional Animal Waste Specialists, or aPAWS. They have a chat board on the Internet and have published a book on 'how to start your own low-cost, high-profit dog waste removal service.' ' [Philadelphia Inquirer]
- Dog poop... a pollution fighter of the future? Scientists with the Agricultural Research Service may have found a way to convert some types of manure into a material that can be used to help keep the environment clean. So far, they've been successful with poultry poop:. 'When pelletized and activated under specific conditions, the [poultry] litter becomes a porous material with a large surface area...' [Environmental News Service]
- use plain old dog poop to stop your dog from digging... Take some of his fresh doodies and drop them in his digging holes when he isn't looking. Cover them up. (You have to be stealthy, because it's the element of surprise that will get him). Allow him to enter the area on his own and commence digging. When he discovers his own poop in his hole, he'll be very offended. If he's smart, he'll be cured immediately of digging. If not, after one or two more times of finding his own doggie delights, he will be completely cured of digging. This worked for our dog, and he was an ambitious digger. [We got this tip from George Cockrell, a Washington DC area dog trainer.]
- Sue someone or even a big name corporation A woman who sued Petsmart for her injuries from slipping on dog poop finally gets her day in court, after an appeals court ruled that she had a case. Don't give up, if your suit gets thrown out. Appeal.
- Make a Shockwave Flash presentation about the many dangers of dog poo. Use it to lure people to your Dog Doo Info Zone company where you sell an infinite array of dog poop accessories and parephenalia.
- Have your vet operate... sometimes it's necessary ... Gucci watch swallowed by dog tells right time when it comes out
- For the poop obsessed and owners who are tired of picking up their dogs' creations: An online game: The virtual dog sh*t creator allows you to make virtual poop of your very own: rich, smooth, hard or lumpy... more brown, extra white (old), extra loose, extra hard... you get the idea... and you'll get your very own... [Source: Blogdex Index via Newsisfree.com]
All ideas for 101 things you can do with dog poop are taken from real news stories chronicled in Dog News over the last year!