Here's the deal. A couple weeks ago I returned home from Costa Rica. I had one of the most wonderful of all times. Met some great people and really was able to truly relax for the first time in many many years. (I define a truly relaxing vacation as one that you don't need another vacation to recover from.)

When I came back I let myself go a couple few days with the intention of easing myself back into NYC life. By nature I'm a driven person (alright with the cab jokes, I heard that.) When I get enthusiastic about a project I'm an unstoppable freak until I'm happy with it. So after doing some apartment cleaning I started going over some of my (technical) writing projects, some interesting programming work I was doing and spent a fair amount of time reviewing where I had been before leaving for Costa Rica.

But as my eyes ran over the Levenger's notebooks I've come to know and love I had a reaction I could not have anticipated. Complete and total ambivalence. I just didn't care enough to work on any of it. The maelstrom of possibility and potential that would erupt from looking at the same notes just 12 days earlier had near completely disappeared. The notes themselves still evoked smiles and the odd fluttering idea here and there.

I've always known that I would burn out. I saw it coming almost 10 years ago and had lived with the fairly comfortable knowledge that it wasn't forever. (that would be before I was even programming for a living, I'd already been programming for about 15 years by then.)

So perhaps that's what this is: total burnout. It would certainly make my life exciting. But perhaps it's not. Perhaps this is just me taking a well-deserved break from concerns digital.

Just thought I'd spout ;)
11:30:16 AM    comment []