Cribs ‘n’ Cream
For the first Sunday in a long while I found myself underneath my bed, watching Telly. I watched the latest edition of MTV Cribs and found myself glimpsing into the life of Shaquille O’Neal, all college, all pro, all universe basketball player for the L.A. Lakers. As the audience is ushered through flat-screen televisions, oversized desks, swimming pools, gigantic refrigerators, indoor basketball courts, sports cars and a home theatre, there is an overwhelming void in the possessions of this star.
I watch Cribs from time to time. MTV and other cable networks have the handy strategy of repeating programs over and over to give the slowpokes like me a chance to stay current. To date I’ve seen into the homes of the supposedly rich and famous and this notorious lack I speak of is a consistency in all the episodes.
They have no books.
Interestingly enough, pseudo-electronic musician Moby pointed this out in his own episode of Cribs and displayed a bookcase, the first row of which contained a handful of books - perhaps three or four.
I’m a minority in this matter, a noisy one but nonetheless if I were to walk up the street into the ghettos of Buena Park and ask of 26 inch rims and a tattered copy of The Lord of the Rings which was most precious I’d get quizzical expressions. I’m used to this but if I were to ask, in Beverly Hills, among the homes of the rich and beautiful, homes and faces I’ve always admired, whether the words of Haruki Murakami might be compared against a yacht in the harbor, I’d have to fend off a scornful look or two.
I have a friend who is anti-capitalist. I don’t agree with him on much but he makes an interesting observation: the system in which we live values on scarcity, not quality. If we were all able to the Hummer H2, it wouldn’t be as valuable.
I’ve noticed a handy trick used by these crib owners – they invent scarcity. How can you invent scarcity? Simple: customize item ‘x’, where ‘x’ is a regular old thing. This is even done with books: there is an interesting bookstore in Beverly Hills where one can spend sums like $600 on a tattered copy of The Old Man and the Sea. It’s been signed, you see, and there are none like it.
How about another way of thinking about value: ignore the factor of scarcity and evaluate the item for its own sake. An easy way to do that is to assume that anyone in the world from bricklayers in Pakistan to homeless vagrants in San Francisco can get it. This is particularly useful on "collectors items", jewelry and trinkets.
Another way to think of value is to imagine the world without it. Let’s imagine the world without a Bentley with 26 inch rims. That takes nearly a half second. Now, let’s imagine the world without The Origin of Species. That’s an evening and cocktails for those of us who get busy, it’s a lifetime of debate among scientists and philosophers.
Once again I’m back in a minority facing the rolling eyes of “bling bling”, Pamela Anderson's boob job and the lyrics of “Cream and the American Dream”. I can attest, however, that being an unyielding minority isn’t so bad. My crib on MTV would include a tour through the library with a big window so I could look outside whilst I read.
As for Shaquille and the other celebs - it's not that their houses are bad. I was entertained. But once I remember visiting a friend's house in the suburbs of Olympia, Washington. The basement, living room, bedrooms - all were strewn with books. This invaluable form of life, everywhere. It gave me more awe than yet another plasma tv could not.
[added later... ]
I know some people who might say "everyone's different" to this. The reason I think that's misguided is because it's the same reason that some kid gets stabbed for his "Air Jordan" shoes or parents get into fist fights over Tickle Me Elmo dolls. A sense of value is an important thing, worth the mulling involved in defining it.
1:55:23 PM 
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