The Lost Continent
That it was an exhausting journey shouldn’t surprise you; all but 10 of the lower 48 states in a single trip is enough to daunt even the hardiest of travelers. Of course I didn’t actually do it; I simply followed Bill Bryson on my latest read, The Lost Continent.
His opening tone of mixed humor and sarcasm is held consistently through book. Perhaps too consistently; there are moments you hope he will reach into an experience and find more than a cruel jape to share. Alas, he doesn’t. But it’s not the promise he implicitly makes as you read the first page; that promise is that you will be constantly laugh audibly, wiping your eyes and clutching your side as you progress through the book.
Contains an expletive, read on your own conscience:
I was headed for Cairo, which is pronounced “Kay-ro.” I don’t know why. They do this a lot in the South and Midwest. In Kentucky, Athens is pronounced “AY-thens” and Versailles is pronounced “Vur-SAYLES.” Bolivar, Missouri, is “BAW-liv-er.” Madrid, Iowa, is “MAD-rid.” I don’t know whether the people in these towns pronounce them that way because they are backward, undereducated sh--kickers who don’t know any better or whether they know better but don’t care that everybody thinks they are backward undereducated sh--kickers. It’s not really the sort of question you can ask them, is it? At Cairo I stopped for gas and in fact I did ask the old guy who doddered out to fill my tank why they pronounced Cairo as they did.
“Because that’s its name,” he explained as if I were kind of stupid.
“But the one in Egypt is pronounced ‘Ki-ro.’”
“So I’ve heard,” agreed the man.
“And most people, when they see the name, think ‘Ki-ro,’ don’t they?”
“Not in Kay-ro they don’t,” he said, a little hotly.
There didn’t seem to be much to be gained by pursuing the point, so I let it rest there, and I still don’t know why the people call it “Kay-ro.” Nor do I know why any citizen of a free country would choose to live in such a dump, however you pronounce it.
He is irreverent in every way – his grandmother, stupid people, the South – all fall prey to his easy sarcasm. He never troubles himself with the art of subtlety although he occasionally seasons his put-downs with a sentimental thought. Such thoughts usually last about a sentence or two and then, like a boy in middle school, he realizes he can’t get too deep so he makes a joke of it to distance the sentimentality. Even with his grandfather’s death he follows the pattern.
Occasionally my feelings towards a writer are mixed. Bryson evoked that sort of uncertainty about my own emotions. It was not only his irreverence and passion for Burger King or McDonalds, it was a feeling that he took a deep experience and made it into a series of funny but meaningless jests. It was a sense that as a travel writer he actually didn’t really know how to travel.
But he made me laugh: aloud in airports, early in the morning, at lunch on a rough day of work and in so many other places when it was nice to have a light moment.
Perhaps that’s why it took so long to finish the book. Robin Williams is funny as long as you carefully measure your doses and the same attitude must be taken with Bryson in order for his writing to maintain its value.
And there were a precious few places that charmed Bryson – places within reach for people like me: wistful for travel but locked to the US by circumstance. He dribbles over Mackinac Island in Michigan, Savannah, Georgia, and the coast of South Carolina. Of course here is a man who delights in looking at junk in the Henry Ford Museum but never makes it into any of the museums of New York or Philadelphia, a man who skipped Los Angeles, but he has moments of credibility.
All in all the book works, if simply for the reason that Bryson keeps his promise to keep you chuckling to yourself as you proceed through it. His lack of depth will tire the reader and his brutish honesty lacks its desired surprise effect if you try to read the book too quickly. I can see myself picking up another Bryson book for airplanes and tough days at work but it will be a long while for sure.
10:47:38 PM 
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