Inside Out
Minivans were, briefly, a topic of conversation this weekend. I was with my friends T and S, transplants who got to the Dakotas around the time I did. Minivans came up with the discussion of K and me moving to the suburbs:
"So David, are you going to have a minivan?"
We're all familiar with the sentiments - feeling young versus feeling old, living towards an edge and compromise, standing alone and being just like everyone else. Especially at the stage of life I'm in, a lot of people seem to have shrugged off any surprise and put together the following equation:
Marriage + Suburb + Minivan + Children = Played Out / Compromised / Lackluster
To the extent that a person with all these accouterments can be like a frog getting boiled in water, with the temperature slowly rising, I can see in myself a lot of the stereotypes and assumptions that lead to a negative reaction. But with my new perspective as a person right in the middle of it all, I can see much more the human side to what I'd painted broad brushstrokes on before.
I'll probably end up with the "things" that I used to react so strongly too: a lawnmower, a snow blower, a minivan, a washer, a mortgage, a screaming toddler -
But now I see how the physical stuff that surrounds us is not our entirety. By that I mean that a lot of people can control their physical world by living inside out; having a firm belief that by controlling what comes in to their lifestyle they regulate what is outside and what shows up to the non-casual observer.
What is the value of faith in God? What effect does literature have on a life? If we allow ourselves to experience and really think about art, will it change our perceptions and values? If we travel outside of our comfort zones, if we are willing to see and tolerate people who live a different life, will that make a difference?
I'm really hoping so, because that's my long answer to that short question of whether I'll have a minivan.
A few years ago I read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and was left with a lasting impression of the author, Robert Pirsig's view on life. When asked how to paint a perfect picture he writes that it's easy: make yourself perfect and then paint whatever you want. I know that life is a bit more complex than that (and his comment too, you should read the book if you're interested) but the premise remains that the whole notion of quality is something that's built inside out. The way to maintain depth in my life is not really about my physical belongings as much as it is about my inner life. What's outside will represent a sketch of the inner workings, but a lot of people look at pictures and see only what they want to see. I can't really control how everyone will react to me from my possessions or appearance, but I can work on my thinking and the inner platform for my lifestyle.
10:51:31 PM 
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