(28 September 2003, Vancouver, Canada) William, a 36-year-old carpenter, hoped to become a stunt man. He had a brilliant plan. During the Vancouver Film Festival, movie people jetted in from all over the world. He would bungee from the Lions Gate Bridge, gracefully descend to the deck of a passing cruise ship, and disengage from the bungee cable as smoothly as James Bond, to the awe of the ship's passengers. Producers would marvel at his work, and discuss over cocktails who would hire him for their next film.
Stunt men have the advantage of working with stunt coordinators, who carefully plot out each acrobatic feat with unerring accuracy. But William was a do-it-yourself man. He planned for over two years, checking the height of the tides, boat schedules, and deck layouts. He even lined up sponsors and recruited assistants. But, as it turned out, he could have used a stunt coordinator.
The stunt began perfectly. William took a swan dive off the bridge, trailing the bungee cord behind him. He felt it grow taut as it stretched and began to slow his descent. The tennis court of the cruise ship drew nearer. And nearer. And nearer...
He slammed into the deck, hurtled into a volleyball net, bounced against a deck railing, and found himself flying once more into the air, watching the cruise ship sail away.
Although he had failed to make his James Bond entrance, "people on the boat loved it," he told a reporter. "They were screaming, yelling, waving." A witness, however, described the reaction as "shrieks of horror."
William dangled above the water for a few minutes, confirming that no bones were broken, and making a mental note to use a shorter bungee cord next time. A water taxi positioned itself beneath him, and he gracefully descended to its deck, and smoothly disengaged from the bungee cable.
William is still waiting to hear from the movie producers.
