Friday, November 15, 2002

Radio problems I just noticed that my radio site has not been updated with all these posts. Why? I'm not sure, but I can't figure it out right now. It's time to go home. 5:51:29 PM    comment [] "Throwing a Dwarf" Here is something that I read on one of the email lists I subscribe to: Yesterday, I was watching again (and again) the Lord of the Rings movie. This is when I noticed something I really found hilarious: When they are in the Moria, fleeing from the Balrog, the heroes end up on a broken flight of stairs. Eventually they all jump above the chasm. Nonetheless, when it is the turn of the Dwarf for jumping, he refuses any help, stating that "NOBODY WILL THROW A DWARF" Now, if you remember well... Lord of the Rings was shoot in New-Zealand. AND IF I remember well too, that odious sport was also invented in New Zealand: the throwing of dwarves! (i.e.: this is bowling, but you use a dwarf -a living human thus- instead of the traditional ball to throw into the skittles). Just my two-cents info... Can't wait for the sequel! And from a followup email Well, maybe it is an "urban legend" as Sigfried says... at least it would be logical. But in any case, this urban legend is well known all over the world. The first time I learned of it was in a magazine. It did show a photo of a bowling. There, a heavily muscled guy was about to throw a dwarf, I mean, a living human. The guy was equipped with sort of football clothing and protection, and was about to be tossed at the skittles. Next photo he was sliding near the skittles, having been tossed aparently... In any case, it's still worth a chuckle. Incidentally, the quote from the movie should be "Nobody tosses a dwarf!" not "NOBODY WILL THROW A DWARF" 5:50:18 PM    comment [] crisis=danger+opportunity Here is a great story, true or not: I was working in a bookstore, and would periodically tell my manager about the odd crises that would occur. Every time I did this, she would say "you know, in Chinese the word for crisis is the same as opportunity." One day, one of the toilets in the men's room blew up: water was shooting up like old faithful, and we had a couple of inches on the floor. I went to her and said "Amy, we have a real opportunity in the men's room." She never brought that up again. 10:06:03 AM    comment [] Leonid Meteor Storm There is a meteor shower next week, called the Leonid Meteor Storm. There are tips from NASA on what to do to get a good view of the storm. 9:15:42 AM    comment [] Mircosoft and Homeland security With enough money to have somebody focused on just selling to homeland security, it's no wonder people fear Microsoft. 9:09:19 AM    comment [] A great article on writing The following is a quote from a site I read today.  I figured that I'd copy the entire text of the article here so that I would be able to find it later.  For the original author's article, you can click here. [Here is something that I've been working on, in dribs and drabs (mostly drabs), for the past four years. The idea was to share a few tricks of the writer's trade with Street Tech writers, many of whom were then new to the biz. I violate some of my own "rules" here. It's a bit...ah...windy and even more than a bit redundant, but I decided that, in this context, it was OK. For instance: "Garage Band Writing Style," "Shitty First Drafts," "For God's Sake, Have Fun!," and "Writers Write" are all saying basically the same thing, only in slightly different ways. One may speak to you where others don't. Anyway, consider it a work in progress, one that I didn't feel like keeping to myself anymore. - Gareth] Gareth's Tips on Sucks-Less Writing (Or: Everything I know about writing, I swiped from other writers and editors) I've always thought that it's important to honor teachers. Not only do they inspire you, they impart the knowledge and practical wisdom that actually makes a difference in the way you work, live your life, and perceive your world. Unfortunately, at least in my case, I'm not talking about schoolteachers. Over the years, it's been those foot-sloggin' the trenches with me -- fellow editors and writers -- who've taught me the most about good writing. When I examine my work, I can see them lurking there within it. Whatever success I've had as a writer, I owe a great deal of that to them. So without further ado... Some Lessons Learned: * Split Your Writer and Editor "Heads" The first book I ever bought about the craft of writing was called Writing with Power. It was a miserable little piece of pulp waste and it engendered in me a life-long hatred of how-to writing guides, which BTW, seem to permanently appear on "What to get writer-boy?" holiday gift lists. (Note to friends and family: No more how-to write books! If I haven't figured out how to do this by now... Oh, and while you're at it, you can stop sending me blank journals, too. Seriously, I don't have that many profound realizations, and when I do, I have the 27 other journals you've already sent me in which to record them.). But I digress. Writing with Power wasn't a complete waste of tree meat -- it did contain one useful core concept: When writing, don't try to edit as you go. Say what you want to say, unencumbered by the constant commentary from that fussy little editor swimming around inside your head. First, get it all down. Then, have at it, keeping what works and bug-zapping the rest. By separating writing and editing functions, you can convince yourself that you're just doing a first draft. This way, you often end up with better-than-expected material. When I read this book, personal computers weren't even a gleam in Steve Jobs's or Bill Gates's eyes (yes, I'm THAT old. Shut up!). Way back then, it was difficult to type and retype multiple drafts without the burning desire to edit as you went. Happily, word processing has changed all that. * Throw out the First Waffle One of the first things I noticed when I began getting my work published, was how often my introductory paragraphs were unceremoniously hacked into the trash by miserly editors. I once heard the phrase "throwing out the first waffle" used to describe divorce in a first marriage. I've come to think of these intro paragraphs as the first waffle(s) of writing. Writers, especially newbies, often waste this first graph (or two or three) setting up their subject, gobbling up precious column inches, awkwardly warming up to their subject. When you're done with your initial draft, take a hard, dispassionate look at the first few graphs. See if you can slice 'em off. Be harsh. Which brings us to: * Apply Occam's Razor A friend, Andrew Lawler, a science and technology writer who's currently an editor at Science offered this one. When it's time for a tight edit, go over every word. Ask yourself: is this necessary? Is this the simplest, most straight-forward way of saying this? If not, toss or revise it! You'll be amazed at how many words you'll be able to trash. (Then sit on the piece overnight -- no, not literally! The next day, whip out the Razor again. You'll be surprised how many other fat (and not-so-sassy) words you'll find still hangin' around, wasting good electrons). Important note to newbies: Never, EVER find yourself saying the following in email to an editor: "I know you only asked for [your assigned word count goes here], but here's [your outrageously flabby, up all night buzzing your brains out on caffeine until you've lost all perspective and restraint word count goes here]." Editors are busy, over-worked people, with little patience for sloppy, logorrheic writers. Getting the piece at least in the neighborhood of the assigned word count is YOUR job, not theirs. If they have to spend a lot of time wrestling your piece into the allotted space, you likely won't get the gig next time. * Don't be Redundant. No, Really, Don't. Sometimes you learn what not to do by watching others. I have a friend (who'll remain nameless) who's a supremely funny and talented writer, but he often slips into repeating himself. He constantly repeats concepts and sentence wording. When you constantly repeat concepts and sentence wording, you end up writing about 50% too much material, just like my funny and talented writer friend does. I've learned my lesson well from him, not to repeat concepts and sentences endlessly. He's really funny and talented though. He really is. More on this: I often find, when editing writers, that they'll use the same word over and over again in successive sentences. So, if they're writing about a PDA, they'll use "PDA" in every instance. A good writer can come up with creative ways to avoid over-using the primary reference. So PDA can be "the device," "the unit," "the hiptop," "the handheld," "the tiny bugger," "the Lilliputian wonder toy," "next year's high-tech paperweight," etc. * Damn the Cliches! Years ago, I contributed to a book on multimedia for Time-Warner. My editor was big on cliché busting. I'd never realized how many clichés I relied on until she pointed them out. So, in order to weed out these moldy chestnuts, keep your eyes peeled and your ear to the ground. Then, your work will be as fit as a fiddle and as fresh as a daisy. * Read it Out Loud William Safire says you should read your work out loud. Writing is not the same as speaking, but they each have (when done well) a lot to do with rhythm and flow. If your writing sounds good spoken, it's likely to read well on the page. * Give Good Headline Writing great heads and subheads is an excellent way of framing the concepts of your piece and adding another level of wit and humor. I hardly ever do proper outlines. I usually come up with a general concept, create the heads and subheads, and then hang the story from there. This leads us to: * Know How to Get In and Get Out A friend of my wife's, a crime reporter for a DC-area news program, in trying to give her some advice on "patter" (what a performer says to an audience between tunes), shared a TV journalist's tip: Know how to get in (how to set up what you're going to say) and get out (how you plan on finishing). Then you're free to bullshit your way through the middle. If you get stuck, or run out of things to say, you can jump to your closing. The same thing holds true in writing. Once you know how to set up your piece (obviously with a great attention-getting lede) and how to end it (with an equally clever and compelling exit graph), much of the heavy lifting's done. The rest is mainly filling in the facts and providing some painterly description of your subject. * "Write Like Yourself, Only More So" This motto comes from science fiction author Rudy Rucker who writes what he calls "transrealist" fiction. He takes real situations and people from his life and exaggerates them in his novels. He believes this creates a more honest, grounded, textural fiction, even when dealing with out-of-this-world subjects. Even though I don't write much fiction, this concept really appeals to me since I often write non-fiction in a personal, first person style. Writing in a first person, conversational style is a mixed bag. Some people like it, others don't. Some writers are good at it, others aren't. If you write this way, be careful not to come off sounding condescending or elitist. Aim for smart, friendly, funny, unpretentious. More on this: My approach to writing is based on the editorial policy of the old Whole Earth Review. "Write like you're writing to an intelligent but uninformed friend." This style may not work for, or appeal to, everyone, but it's worked for me. Even more on this: If you write in a conversational style, be careful not to make it TOO conversational. Limit sentences that begin with "And," "So," "Well," "OK." Also avoid using qualifiers that wimp out your point: "In my opinion," "I think," "If you ask me," etc. Other weakening qualifiers that are used in conversation, but don't work as well in text are words like "just" ("I just think that Microsoft is a scum-sucking, dog-balls-sniffing evil Empire."), "pretty" ("Sex with you last night was pretty good.") and "fairly" ("I'm fairly certain that this sentence will communicate my point."). * Writers Write! Mike Gunderloy, editor of the zine review guide Factsheet Five, used to say that, even if you aren't a writer to begin with, after cranking out a million words or so, you're a writer! Gunderloy himself was a prime example. He wasn't much of one when he started F5, his "zine of zines," but he sure as hell was by the time he called it quits many millions of words later. By then, he had truly mastered the short-form art of concise and spunky media criticism. * Speling Counts (so don't good grammar) A lot of readers out there don't give a jot how clever you are if you have the grammatical chops of Dan Quayle. Computers have been a boon to the language-impaired, thanks to spell- and grammar-checkers, but these tools can't help if you don't use them. It astonishes me how many articles I get from writers -- allegedly pros -- who haven't bothered to spell- or grammar-check their work. This is NOT the way to an editor's (or an intelligent reader's) heart. * Sometimes, the Best Things You Write, You Write by Mistake Several of my most reproduced pieces came from rants I posted on The Well BBS that I had no intention of ever publishing beyond that forum. I was posting on the fly, as part of a written conversation. Unencumbered by an "editor head," I got something out of me that I may not have otherwise. Keeping a journal of your thoughts on anything (not just the mundane details of your so-called life), or engaging in good online conversation, are greats ways of learning how to write with freedom and immediacy. You'll be surprised how much turns out to be useable material. More on this: Your next big idea may occur to you at any time, so always keep a pen and notebook handy. (I have these tools by my bed, my chair in the living room, in our basement workshop, in my shirt pocket, etc.) And write down what comes to you, DON'T think you'll remember it! I've had brilliant brainstorms (at least that's what I've told myself) in the middle of the night, and being too lazy to write 'em down, I've tried to memorize them before I drift off again. Next morning: nothing. Once you get in the habit, you'll automatically reach for the pad even before the thought has even finished revealing itself. * For God's Sake, Have Fun! The awesomely talented Sean Carton taught me to loosen up and have fun with my writing. He not only writes in a relaxed, conversational style, but he loves to grab readers by their lapels and smack 'em around a little (ya know, in a good way). Tapping into a cocky, humorous style (again, without condescension) has a lot to do with being relaxed while you write. That, and not caring too much about the final outcome. Which brings us to: * Garage Band Writing Style Writing is something that anyone can do, and do well, IF they know how to get out of the way of themselves, and then, how to massage what comes out into something that can communicate powerfully to others. Many of today's talented magazine writers started out in the zine publishing movement -- the writing world's equivalent of punk rock. Along with "writing like yourself," and "having fun," go ahead and toss "writing like you don't give a shit" into your toolkit. Shoot from the hip, write from your gut, be passionate. Write what turns you on. Don't be afraid to break all of the rules or to piss on statues. The results may suck, but they might not, and you might be onto something fresh and exciting. Elvis Costello was a punch card drone at Elizabeth Arden Cosmetics when he saw the Sex Pistols on TV. He thought: "***** this. I can play better than these guys. If they can be rock stars, so can I." There are plenty of big name writers out there, with all the questionable talent you need for this kind of "if he/she can do it, I can too!" inspiration (I'll resist the temptation to name names). More on this: One of my writing teachers (and "life editors") is Peter Sugarman (with whom I did Beyond Cyberpunk! and who co-founded Street Tech). Peter and I have very different styles, but the emotional power and directness with which he writes has always inspired me. He seems to have a nearly direct link between his guts and his keyboard. He reads a lot of comic books and admires the poetry and economy of words inherent in the form. He's obviously been influenced by the genre and the immediacy of his writing reflects that. I've tried to let this approach inform my own. * Develop a Thick Skin My first professional gig was as the Computer Sciences Editor for The Futurist. I was nervous about the job and didn't feel like I was getting enough pats on the back from my editor. One day, I confronted him. His answer, although a bit of a cop-out, did contain a valuable lesson. He said: "You're here because we wanted the best. We hire people who are good at what they do. I expect great things from you and that's what you always deliver." This was, of course, the kind of recognition I was looking for, but it also reminded me that the writing world is a fast and furious business and editors can't always (and rarely do) hold your hand. Being hired, THAT'S their big vote of confidence. Editors don't have time to respond to every email message and phone call. You have to be self-motivated, low-maintenance, and above all, thick-skinned. You're mainly going to hear from them when they DON'T like what you've done. And honey, when they tell you how badly you screwed up, they're not likely to mince words. Then there are the nasty letters to the editor and the hate mail from readers. You have to suck all this up, too. Again, most likely, you'll only hear from people who think you stink. But that only makes it sweeter when you get mail from readers who say that what you wrote changed their lives, or saved their lives, or set them off on a brilliant career, or whatever. These letters may be few and far between, but when they arrive, they make all of it (dealing with surly type-A editors, readers from hell, inadequate pay) worthwhile. * Watch Out for Mixed Metaphors My small-but-mighty wife, Pam Bricker, has probably been my greatest teacher. She's an excellent grammarian, with an intuitive feel for good writing. She's also a brilliant songwriter. One of the things she's cured me of is the use of mixed metaphors. "Like a rock - standing arrow straight" or however that Bob Seeger ode to Chevy pickups goes, is a prime example. Sure you can force it to fit, but it's just bad writing. A rock might be tough, hard, long lasting, but one doesn't normally associate boulders with lean, supple arrows. By the way, Bob, rocks don't charge through gates, either. * Take it "Bird by Bird" One of those writing how-to books I got as a gift, and initially shelved with all the rest, was Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird. Since a writer-friend I love and respect had given it to me, I figured I should at least give it a whiff (after months of feeling guilty about not doing so). The book turned out to be extremely inspirational. It's filled with hysterical stories about the craft of writing and the art of living from someone who lives an unconventional, paint-outside-the-lines life. The central premise concerns getting over your laziness about writing. As mentioned above, "writers write," but often, this only happens when they can trick themselves into doing so. The title refers to an incident when Anne was a child. Her brother had waited until the night before a school project on birds was due to start work on it. He sat at the kitchen table, with a blank pad of paper and a pile of bird books, overcome by the immensity of the task. His father sat down, put his arm around him and said, "Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird." This has become Lamott's way of tricking herself into writing. She tells herself that she's only required to write a small amount each day, just one "bird." No matter how busy, how distracted, how depressed, how uninspired, surely there's time enough for one measly paragraph or character description or scene outline? Of course, once you sit down to bang out that one small block of text, you end up producing two or three or more. But you always tell yourself you're gonna take it one unintimidating chunk at a time: bird by bird. * Shitty First Drafts One of Lamott's other "tricks" (which we've already covered above in "Split your writer and editor 'heads,'" "Garage band writing style" and "For God's sake, have fun!") is to perfect the art of the "shitty first draft." Get over yourself and get it out! Tell yourself it's your goal to craft a shitty first draft, that you LOVE shitty first drafts, that shitty first drafts are your friends. Amaze yourself by the impressive quality and quantity of the shit you can squeeze out, bow to the Buddha within the shit. Nobody but you ever has to see these first drafts. Lamott says her career might be over if readers saw some of her shitty first drafts, but it's this rough, let 'er rip copy that she's crafted into numerous best sellers. * Keep it Naughty AND Nice I also highly recommend Connie Hale's Sin and Sintax: How to Craft Wickedly Effective Prose. My writing improved as I completed each chapter. The book is about the balance between sin (breaking the rules, writing with courage, being fresh and creative, etc.) and sintax (knowing the rules, applying them when appropriate, breaking them when not). The book mainly reads like a post-modern Strunk and White and is a good reminder of what you learned (or should have) in school. Connie, a former editor at Wired, uses a dizzying array of real-world examples (from the Bible to press releases to rock lyrics) to illustrate bad writing that follows the rules and good writing that doesn't (and how to smell the difference). * Tell the Truth, the World is Full of Liars! This is my final tip (then I'll go away and leave you alone). Here in our sucks-MORE 21st century, where most journalists have become corporate spokesbots who skew the news based on what polls and focus groups tell them their "demos" are interested in hearing (and what their advertisers will support), we writers need to tell the truth (at least as we see it). When I was a teen and dreamt of becoming a writer, I had this romantic image of the writer as rebel, an enfant terrible who sat at a typewriter, with a smoke and a bottle of Jack, bleeding truth. While age, familial responsibilities, and a bottom line may have worn down some of my edge (and I gave up drinking and smoking decades ago), I still try to do an honest day's work. Given the current state of things, as I watch much of our future being flushed down the shit-hole, I'm looking to sharpen some of that edge back. One of my inspirations? A comic book character: Spider Jerusalem. The "hero" of Warren Ellis' brilliant Transmetropolitan series, Spider is a Hunter Thompson-esque bitraker who beats the streets of a sprawling city in an indeterminate future. His laptop has become a dangerous weapon in his fight against government corruption, corporate crime, and social apathy. He is journalist as superhero (albeit a flawed, drug-addled, vigilante superhero). If you're a writer who (like me) needs a Doc Marten-in-the-ass every now and then (to remind you why you got into this game in the first place), read Transmet! I even bought myself a Spider Jerusalem action figure. Half-naked, fully tattooed, he sits on my computer, along with his assault laptop and two-headed, chain-smoking mutant kitty cat, keeping me honest. Corny? Maybe. Pathetic? Maybe that too, but Spider is there to remind me how I can, right now, reach through this monitor and grab you by the throat. How? With the power of my words, 'cause in this closing graph, I'm here to remind that I am a fully armed goddamn Professional Journalist! Spider at the office. 9:05:57 AM    comment []

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