Saturday, September 28, 2002

Limbo is a Place

The worst thing for me is to feel like I am in Limbo. Not enlightened, but not asleep either. Not in Heaven, nor on earth. The pull of the worlds attractions is relentless and continuous - new clothes, a new car, a better computer, art for our walls, trips overseas. The pull of Heaven is equally compelling, - the bliss, ecstacy, the sheer light of exalted consciousness, the felt sense of Gods presence.

There is no frame of reference in my family for (im)practical mysticism, no one knows what to make of me. There was no understanding of the Tao in 1950s Brooklyn, nor is there now much support in the prevailing culture. (Although there is currently a movement or awareness developing concerning the cultural creatives).

Being in Limbo means living on the edge...all the time. No wonder I love motorcycle riding, it is a perfect metaphor for my life. It is exciting, risky, there is no certainty. In the sport of motorcycle riding there is a saying - The journey is the destination. One has to be very present in the moment to survive - daydreamers do not last very long on the road.

It is becoming more obvious that I have to create my own way here. I have not seen any help-wanted ads for practical mystics, though Lord knows we are sorely needed in restoring an out-of-balance culture.

I know the way through, though. In the words of Byron Katie, it is To love what is. The paradox is that ultimately samsara and nirvana are one and the same. The split between the two is an illusion in our own consciousness.

In the words of the great sufi poet Rumi:

Give up to Grace.

The ocean takes care of

each wave till

it gets to shore

-Rumi, trans. by Coleman Barks

9:08:54 PM