House Backs Temporary Shift on Pension Funds. The House voted on Wednesday to allow businesses to pay less into workers' pension plans over the next two years.

Seems like a plan to me.

U.S. CEO: "Looks like our projections are a little off."

Congress: "By how much?"

U.S. CEO: "Well, we figured we would have a 10% return annually...which turns out to be a mistake. Stocks return 10% on average historically, but silly us put alot of it into bonds since they were more secure. We should have figured on 6% returns, but things looked so good a few years ago. I mean how could we lose with Yahoo!, Lucent, and MCI-WorldCom? Enron seemed like a sure thing too. Most of our workers were going to retire early anyway since they were making so much money day trading, we figured we would have money to spare."

Congress: "How MUCH?"

U.S. CEO: "About $350 billion. That's if people live about the same amount of time as they do today and medical costs don't spike as much as they have been. It's really not that much if you think about it. We just need to find some other companies to invest in. Who's poised to become the next Microsoft, or Wal-Mart? We only need 3 and a half Procter & Gambles to make up the shortfall!"

Congress: "You're making my head hurt."

U.S. CEO: "Oh, sorry, listen why don't you take a nap and I'll get to work on the problem...I'll let you know if anything promising pops into my head."

Congress: "Thanks. Why don't you try me again when I'm feeling better."

U.S. CEO: "How about 2 years from now?"

Congress: "That would be great. Thanks."

U.S. CEO: "No problem...by the way here's a little campaign money. I really appreciate all the work you've done for us."

Congress: "Your welcome. Just don't tell the workers about this. They vote too you know."

via [New York Times: Business]
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