Mike Snider's Formal Blog and Sonnetarium :
Poems, mostly metrical, and rants and raves on poetry and the po-biz.
Updated: 1/24/06; 10:16:19 PM.

 

ME & MINE







AIM: poemando



POETRY SITES & ZINES




















WORKSHOPS & CONFERENCES







RESOURCES










NON-POETRY BLOGS












POET'S SITES: MOSTLY BLOGS
























































































































































Subscribe to "Mike Snider's Formal Blog and Sonnetarium" in Radio UserLand.

Click to see the XML version of this web page.

Click here to send an email to the editor of this weblog.

 
 

Monday, October 25, 2004

I don't speak or read a word of Greek, but for twenty years I've been fascinated by the poetry of C. P. Cavafy, which I know chiefly through an old paperback Collected Poems translated by Edmund Keeley and Philip Sherrard and edited by George Savidis. The translations are entirely in free verse, though the notes occasionally speak of rhymes schemes and syllable counts. Meters are never mentioned, and I regret that I have never even tried to discover whether modern Greek metrical verse uses the classical meters or is, in fact, syllabic — or perhaps this is an idiosyncrasy of Cafavy's? If my Princeton Encyclopedia of Poetry and Poetics were not in North Carolina I'd look it up now.

In any case, I've often tried to make metrical versions of the texts, finishing maybe a dozen over the years. Last weekend I worked on "In the Tavernas." Here is Keeley and Sherrard's translation:

In the Tavernas


I wallow in the tavernas and brothels of Beirut.
I didn't want to stay
in Alexandria. Tamides left me;
he went off with the Prefect's son to earn himself
a villa on the Nile, a mansion in the city.
It wouldn't have been right for me to stay in Alexandria.
I wallow in the tavernas and brothels of Beirut.
I live a vile life, devoted to cheap debauchery.
The one thing that saves me,
like durable beauty, like perfume
that goes on clinging to my flesh, is this: Tamides,
most exquisite of young men, was mine for two years,
and mine not for a house or a villa on the Nile.

Savidis's note: "Each line really consists of two lines of either six or seven syllables, sporadically rhymed." My version, below, is accentual dimeter and (so far) a line short of two for one. Perhaps, including the alliterations and internal rhymes, it achieves "sporadic" rhyming:

In the Tavernas


Left alone
In Alexandria,
I left for Beirut's
Bars and brothels.
Tamides left me
For a Prefect's son,
For a Nile villa,
And a city mansion.
I couldn't stay
In Alexandria.
I left for Beirut's
Bars and brothels
And a vile life,
The cheapest boys
And cheaper whiskey.
But I'm not lost.
This stays with me,
Like lasting beauty,
Or dearest scents
Still on my skin —
Two years Tamides,
Most exquisite boy,
Was mine and not
For a Nile villa
Or a city mansion.


I've put the drafts at the Draft House, though there's really not much. I don't know whether this is any good, but it came easily.


8:32:36 PM    comment: use html tags for formatting []  trackback []

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

2006 Michael Snider.



Click here to visit the Radio UserLand website.
 




October 2004
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
          1 2
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30
31            
Sep   Nov


ARCHIVES

Dec 2005
Nov 2005
Oct 2005
Sep 2005
Aug 2005
Jul 2005
Jun 2005
May 2005
Apr 2005
Mar 2005
Feb 2005
Jan 2005
Dec 2004
Nov 2004
Oct 2004
Sep 2004
Aug 2004
Jul 2004
Jun 2004
May 2004
Apr 2004
Mar 2004
Feb 2004
Jan 2004
Dec 2003
Nov 2003
Oct 2003
Sep 2003
Aug 2003
Jul 2003
Jun 2003
May 2003
Apr 2003
Mar 2003
Feb 2003
Jan 2003
Dec 2002
Nov 2002
Oct 2002
Sep 2002