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The Thoughts of Hondonius Aurelius

July 2003

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Jun Aug

Friday, July 11, 2003

You Can't Make This Stuff Up

You can bet this guy had a pretty bad day today:

The attempted robbery suspect was already subdued when Metro police arrived on the scene; he also was naked and bound with duct tape.

According to the online version of the Tennessean, this mental giant attempted to rob the Dollar General Store in by walking up to the loading dock with his shirt pulled up over his face, telling the employees that he had a gun. After grabbing the woman manager by the throat to "show that he meant business, the other employees apparently noticed he was unarmed. Then they went to work:

Hedge saw the man was unarmed and fought with him before truck driver Michael Minter, 40, joined in the scuffle.
Hedge and Minter stripped the suspect, duct-taped his arms and legs and took him to a street corner to wait for police, investigators said.

Well, he's all safe and sound now, tucked into his bed in the Metro Jail (isn't it always the Metro Jail?) in lieu of $250,000 bail. I submit that there are a number of obvious questions to ask about this entire episode:

Why would you think it was a good idea to disguise yourself by pulling your shirt over your face?
Why did the workers think it was a good idea to strip the guy in addition to duct tapping him?
Did they apply the tape everywhere?
What cop got the job of yanking the tape off?
How long does it take this joker to find some sleaze-bag lawyer to file suit against the store and its employees?

Just a few questions. I'm sure you can come up with some more.

File under Current Events (?)

12:07:20 AM

July 2003
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Jun Aug