It Goes On And On And On...

I heard from my Nigerian friend again today. I guess he's really anxious for me to get that paperwork into the "bank."

MY DEAR FRIEND,

HOW ARE YOU TODAY?PLEASE I WILL LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOU AND SECONDLY TO ENQUIRE IF YOU HAVE RECEIVED THE COMPLETE FORM I SENT TO YOU,FUTHERMORE,ENDEAVOUR TO SEND IT TO THE BANK,IF YOU HAVE NOT DONE SO.

JOHNSON

I wait a few hours, then I send a blank document along with the info Johnson provided to the "bank." Then I introduce an unwanted third party into the equation:

My Dear Johnson

Sorry for the delay in getting back to you. The tinnitus is still with me. I've tried using a speakerphone, but that seems to aggravate the problem - according to the doctors there are about 6 different forms of tinnitus and they all have different effects - apparently mine is quite severe, although treatable. It's also causing me severe headaches which are aggravated by having to read email that are in all capital letters. Would it be possible for you to use upper and lower case letters for a change? As to your inquiry, the information has been sent. I do have a problem though. It seems my solicitor, Buster Hyman, is looking for a "piece of the action." He seems to think something shady is going on and wants 10% to keep his mouth shut. The guy's a real scumbag, but I've been dealing with his firm, N. Gulff & DeVower for years. Do you have any suggestions?

C. Bawls

It's going to be time to lower the boom soon. I'm just waiting for him to ask me to front the cash necessary to close the transaction. I can't wait. Yeah, right.

File under Nigerian Email Buddies.

7:43:21 PM