Saturday, May 31, 2003

I took my son to the mall today because there was a Shirt He Had to Buy. After all, he’s Going Out tonight and can’t be seen in the filthy rags we usually clothe him in. Since it was raining anyway I decided to bite the bullet and take him. After about a half hour of driving around the parking lot we finally found a space when a Martha Stewart look-alike got into her Volvo and pulled out. Now there’s nothing I hate more than Going To The Mall, unless it’s going there during Christmas shopping season. Well, I sent him off to Banana Republic so he could Avoid Being Seen With Me and I wandered into that bastion of all things yuppie, Brookstone.   Man they’ve got some real strange stuff in that place. The first thing that caught my attention was one of those clocks made from a fiber optic strand that vibrates back and forth creating the illusion that the date and time is floating in the air. I guess it’s the current version of the lava lamp. Another thing that caught my eye was a rechargeable Power Wine Cork Remover. According to the box it will remove a wine cork in 15 seconds. I don’t know about you but I can wait for 20, even 25 seconds. I just don’t need that much speed when I’m opening that bottle of Chateau Lafitte 1967. I guess with some people that’s an issue. Not the screw top crowd I guess. Fortunately my soon returned to rescue me from this house of horrors and we managed to escape without any further emotional trauma and damage being done. Next time I go back there I’ll be heavily armed and sedated. I seriously need a drink right now to calm my nerves before my wife and I head out for dinner. From now on I’ll only shop on the internet.   At least I had a better day than the Professional Art Framer I just heard about on the news. Seems he left a Picasso and a Matisse on the subway platform of the 1/9 train in New York. I LOVE THIS TOWN!   I'd file this under lame posts but you can find it under Stuff That Don't Fit Anywhere Else. 7:04:06 PM