Man's best ball and chain
I've spent the past two evenings alone with the dog. I've been having a bit of a problem lately with this dog because he has suddenly begun to try to stop me from leaving when I go to work. He physically tries to block the door, he bites my feet (I'm not kidding this dog bites my feet) and worst of all he whines. My dog never whines. So when he whines it completely breaks my heart and I feel like the most evil selfish person on the planet and on my ride to work I contemplate driving off a bridge. (Note: there are no actual bridges on my commute, it's just a figure of speech.)
I belong to one of those "groups", where you post messages to the "list" and anyone who is a member of said group can respond...you know what they are. Anyway, considering that I pay my dues and have been a faithful member of the group, not to mention volunteering to write for the newsletter, I think I can post my question and maybe one of these people who also own my same breed of dog can give me some advice.
So I post my question. And only three people responded. Here are their suggestions:
- Use a herbal remedy. (I looked up this remedy...it is a flower essence preserved in brandy. Thanks, but no thanks.)
- Get another dog of the same breed. (Um...it seems to me that instead of solving my problem this would double it. Strike two.)
- My dog is bored, so I must play with him more in the evenings, and supply him with more toys to play with while I'm gone. He needs "mental stimulation." This answer even had a slight tone of reproach in it, as if I'm neglecting or even mistreating my dog by not giving him the attention he needs. (This answer really got me going because we spend hours -- I'm not kidding, hours -- each evening playing endless games of fetch with this dog. He also has an entire little doggy toy box full of toys he can play with and bones he can chew to his heart's content while we are gone. Please note that he does not play with them while we're gone. We leave the radio on for him all day. We give him a Kong stuffed with peanut butter before we go. And as for "mental stimulation", how am I supposed to supply that? Shall I play Pictionary with him? After this the brandy thing started to sound pretty good.)
And, as helpful as they are, none of these brilliant suggestions helps me solve the problem. The problem is not the dog's state of mind. The problem is I gotta go to work and how do I get the dog to stop trying to keep me from leaving?
These people are very nice and they certainly love dogs, but they are not helpful or realistic. I understand that the breed is an energetic, smart breed that is easily bored. I get it. But I HAVE TO GO TO WORK, and he's still a DOG. Isn't it enough that I come home at lunch every day to take him out? Isn't it enough that I walk him briskly for 20 minutes at 7:30 every morning before work in the rain, shine, snow, sleet, ice, or freezing cold temperatures? Isn't it enough that he sleeps in our bed? Isn't it enough that I cook the little guy chicken breasts to make sure he's getting enough protein? So despite all this, he's still not getting enough attention? Please.
So I've come to the decision that I'm sorry he's bored but I have to work. I am tired of worrying about this dog's "needs." He is a DOG, and he will ADJUST. These people on the "list" are just plain fanatics. I am no longer consulting them about anything and I'm not reading the list anymore.
But of course I spent the past two nights focusing all my attention on him out of guilt and that's why there hasn't been a blog entry in awhile.
8:05:36 PM 
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