Monday, October 06, 2003

Blog thoughts I've had this blog for almost a year, and I thought now might be a good time to sit back and take stock. I certainly don't blog as often as I'd like. It's not for lack of desire, but there's just too much else to do and sometimes at the end of the day I'm just plain exhausted. And the truth is that I'm not sure that anyone has any interest in reading my random ramblings about stupid things. They're not funny. They're not insightful. They're not even written that well. Some bloggers really work hard on their stuff, and they get like thirty, fourty comments on a post. I just blab on about stupid stuff that happens to me that really doesn't matter to anyone. Not even me, frankly. So maybe I'm thinking that the blog should just slink off into oblivion. Also I'm frustrated with my utter inability to get Radio to publish photos, which would really add a lot to the blog and make me happy. I think if I were more technologically knowledgeable then I would be able to figure it out but I don't have time to blog sometimes, I certainly don't have time to figure out why Radio won't upload a stupid photo. Also, it's hard to only blog from home. If I do continue the blog then I'd like to find something that would allow me to blog from other locations other than my desktop, whenever the spirit moves me. But here's my big concern. I thought that I would be able to use this as a creative outlet for my own fictional works, and I just haven't. Partially it's because I write at least based on real things, real events, real people. I've felt very paranoid about basing a story on someone or a situation I've been in and then having them  read about themselves and recognize themselves (even though I'm very careful not to use names or other identifying details.) Several times I've actually written the thing and then gone back and deleted it out of sheer paranoia. So that's part of it. But the other part is that I spend all day writing. It's my job. Then I sometimes come home and spend more time writing as part of my freelance business, or as part of the volunteer work I do. And at the end of the day the absolute last thing I feel like doing is writing for fun (as opposed to profit.) And that makes me really sad because I'm afraid I'll never write another short story again. Plus it's ironic that the writing I get paid to do actually makes me not want to do the writing I love to do.  A few years ago I would have said I was good at it. But now I'm not even so sure about that. So do I really want to keep this blog alive just as a vehicle for my own pathetic little musings, while all the time its very existence serves to remind me of what I should be doing, but am not?     8:54:51 PM     comment [] Arf So I went to the Montgomery County (PA) all-terrier (dog) show this weekend. Yes I am a big loser. It was rather an eye opening experience for me. Now, I did see Best In Show. But the thing is I kinda thought they were kidding. Nobody could really be that strange. Now I know they weren't kidding. These dog people are crazy. Really fanatical. You would not believe the number of people I saw sporting dog-specific items of clothing. And I'm not talking about just a tie with a random dog on it. I'm talking about hand-painted t-shirts with a specific dog on it. Not a specific breed of dog. A specific dog. On your shirt. Some women had dog tshirts, dog sweaters, and were decked out in dog jewelry -- all at the same time. I didn't even get around to ruminating over the Glamour No-No aspect of that sort of theme dressing, because I was so focused on where the hell they FOUND a fox terrier gold-and-enamel pendant in the first place. Who sells this stuff? (And...where can I get one???) But then I guess I am just as strange because I actually recognized the handler of the Westminster Best-In-Show winning Kerry Blue Terrier from 100 feet away. (He made eye contact with me and said, "Hey, how are you!" as he passed, as if he knew me. I couldn't remember his name and for once in my life kept my mouth shut instead of stammering, "Hey! Your're...that guy!".) I was as excited as if I'd just spotted a celebrity. We also stayed at a rather fleabag-esque hotel. It is a big chain hotel, but I guess I might have been expecting too much for rural Pennsylvania, becasue you could literally see through the towels. They sent me up an extra blanket that was just riddled with cigarette burns. The carpet in the room was also studded with cigarette burns. And we had a non-smoking room, so go figure. All the lights were those money-saving flourescent fixtures. The eggs at breakfast were powdered. Powdered eggs! I haven't had those since college! Nonetheless it was an interesting weekend, and if nothing else it was nice to be on the road and pet all the doggies. I came home with muddy pawprints all over me and dog slobber on my glasses.     8:37:09 PM     comment []

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