Rummaging around my hard drive last night, I ran across this bit of stupidity. It was dated in '96 - I have no idea who wrote it, or even where it came from, but, well, if you're Heathen you'll find it pretty screamingly funny.

You Might be a Redneck Asatruar if...

• Your horn reads "Budweiser"...in runic.
• Your statue of Odin looks a lot like Elvis with an eyepatch.
• Your statue of Freyja has a hoola skirt and a clock in its belly.
• You think the nine worlds include Graceland and Dollywood.
• Your ceremonial sword says Gen. R. E..Lee on one side and Franklin Mint on the other.
• The Yule feast was late because the TV dinners took longer than you expected.
• Your usual offering to the landwights is a moon pie and YooHoo.
• In a ritual, you have ever said "and all ya'll Aesir and Vanir".
• You call the landwights "critters".
• You've ever used "All-Pappy" as a kenning for Odin.
• Your harrow doubles as a BBQ pit.
• Your incense comes out of a pouch that says Redman.
• Your belt buckle is larger than your shield.
• You made people stop leaping the Midsummer bonfire because dirt was getting on the pig.

9:41:34 AM     comment []