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My Accutane Experience

**Update/Disclaimer 3-2-08 ** I'm not a doctor, this is my experience with Accutane. Alot of people lately have been asking me if its safe to use accutane or what are their side effects going to be or if I'd recommend Accutane.  I'm not a doctor and I can only tell you what my side effects were and how it changed my life.  I think you should read as much as possible about Accutane - the good and the bad and make a decision that is good for you, only your heart & soul can tell you what to do. I read alot of other journals before I decided to do it and I couldn't be happier.  6 years later and I'm still 99.9% acne free, I do occasionally get a pimple now and then but nothing like it was when I first started this journey**

~another disclaimer~ if you have an issue with abortion, stop reading and go somewhere else to learn about accutane, I don't want to hear from you, sorry to be so cruel but the mean comments, I'm tired of them~

I started Accutane on November 15, 2002 because I've had cystic acne since I was about 25, I am now 33. I never had it when I was a teenager and only got it when I was an adult.  I tried everything from home remedies to TV products to antibotics and even birth control pills (which may be the reason I never had it til I stopped using birth control - birth control in general made me sick and depressed and screwed around with my hormones but that's another story) - anyways, nothing worked. I was depressed because I was always trying to cover up the acne, makeup made it worse. I didn't care if I lost weight or not because I had low self-esteem from the acne.

My first dermatologist didn't want to put me on Accutane since I was at the "child-bearing" age. The second dermatologist, I found told me since nothing was working, Accutane would be the best choice for me and I would only be on it for 5-6 months and my acne should completely go away. They had me sign a waiver about using 2 forms of birth control at all times(I've got to admit that I don't follow this advice but then again I only use condoms as birth control and haven't gotten pregnant yet) and asked if I got pregnant would I have any problems with having an abortion (since accutane causes major birth defects in the fetus), I have no problems with abortion, one-I'm not ready to have a kid and two-I've already had 3 abortions in my lifetime. They told me I would have to get monthly blood tests including a pregancy test before I could get my monthly prescription for accutane. They told me the side affects of accutane...my dermatologist gave me all the details however I was still a little scared about accutane because I'll I'd ever heard about it was bad things so when I got home - I started searching on the internet for other people's experiences which actually made me feel better about taking accutane. For other journals/experiences, there are links at the end of my journal.

Month 1: Dose - 40mg once a day. Almost immediately, it started working. I could see all the little blackheads popping themselves up to the surface and as soon as I washed my face, they were gone. My cystic acne was healing faster and the really bad spots were going away. I no longer had to use products that burned my face - such as salcyic acid soaps and cleansers. And the little blemishes I did have were easily covered up with concealer. I did notice that my lips started to chap but not really bad. Right before I went to the doctor for a checkup, a huge cystic zip popped up right outside my nose - not very attractive and one on my forehead.

Month 2: The doctor up'd my dose to 80mg a day or 40mg twice a day. I started having acne cysts pop up everywhere - I could see them coming up through my skin especially on my nose and forehead and even in places I didn't know I had acne like my arms and legs. I noticed my lips got really dry and chapped - chapstick and aquaphor are my saviors. I started noticing that I was really dry everywhere..which always being oily - it was hard to deal with. I've never been one to use lotion for anything. I also started getting really sick - I don't know if this was related to Accutane or not - but I first got a cold for a week, then a sinus infection the next two weeks and then pneumonia. One great thing about accutane, the drying effect, my psoriasis was finally clearing up on my toes.

Month 3: January 2003...still on 80mg a day..my face was almost completely clear except for the occasional red spot near the sides of my nose. I was still getting acne modules about a week before I got my period but I could cover these with makeup. My lips were extremely chapped and painful - aquaphor every 5 minutes and I was extremely dehydrated. Most of my infections from pneumonia were clearing up. I was actually happy and had alot of self-confidence and starting going out and meeting people.

Month 4: February...still on 80mg a day...my face, back, legs, arms, chest were clear except for the first week when I got my period..and those cysts would sort of heal and then come back full strength. My nose was very dry and bleeding but I thought I could deal with it because my face was finally looking normal and clear. And I started losing weight which I think might be a side affect of Accutane from what I've read about it. Although I had a really rough emotional period during this month and not sure if Accutane had an part of what my mood swings were about. I was extremely depressed. My hair was dry and stringy - I had to start using deep conditioning on my hair everyday. My lips started cracking and bleeding on the sides. I developed a strange rash..but my face was clear.

Month 5: March 2003 - the doctor up'd my dose to 100mg per day (60mg once a day and 40mg once a day), she said that I shouldn't still be getting any eruptions during my period and that upping the dose would start the next process of clearing up everything.

      Week 16 & 17 (Feb 26 - March 9) - my face completely erupted with major cystic acne..deep red painful cysts all over the sides of my face. My chest is painful has deep erupting cysts. My lips are still dry and chapped. I am still extremely dehydrated. I tried to cover it all up with makeup and made it worse. And I bought some face cleanser which made it even worse. The acne is infected and painful burning and itchy. I didn't want to go to work and have everyone see this terrible acne..I finally had to break down and not wear makeup and just go out in public with everyone staring at my face but being too polite to ask what happened. The cysts are erupting and oozing clear liquid and crusting. I have a huge one in my ear and one in each nostril. I also have small pimples on my neck and behind my ears. And I have painful eruptions on my butt. I realized that since the doctor up'd my dose, everything would starting coming to the surface but I guess I didn't realized it would be so painful or look so bad. Last night I decided to do something about the painful itching cysts on my face to speed the healing process..I bought hydrogen peroxide to cleanse the infections and neosporin creme with painkiller. When I got home, I cleaned my face with hot water and cetaphil. Use the hydrogen perioxide on the infected areas and spread neosporin on my face..the results: my face is once again clearing up, the infected areas don't hurt as bad today, still itchy but look so much better. The cysts have stopped oozing and started drying up..hopefully within the next couple of days, they'll start healing completely.

The good news about all of this...is that my forehead and nose, my back and arms and legs are 90% free from acne. My lips aren't as chapped today and feel so much better and now I'm only using chapstick occasionally. I won't be wearing any more makeup until my face is completely free of acne..learned my lesson the hard way..and maybe I never will have too again. My skin is so dry and I need to start using lotion everyday. My hair is so dry that I've had to start wearing it in a ponytail to keep it from itching my face. The only other side affect I had experienced this week, is incredibly dry eyes..and my contacts are bothering me but I found an ointment to use at night called "gen-teal tears" which is a wonder drug for anyone with severe dry eyes. I only had to use it twice and my eyes are back to normal or at least enough where I can tolerate my contacts during the day.

Week 18 & 19: (March 10 - 23) - my face is finally clearing up still very dry spots and flaky but at least the bad cystic acne is gone. Now my back is breaking out again (actually my shoulders and neck are breaking out..last week was fine but now this week starting yesterday (the 17th) started getting little eruptions on my shoulders. And I have acne in places I never thought I had acne..like under my breasts..these aren't painful just red. My ear and nose are finally clearing up..still have nose bleeds but that is nothing compared to the new problems..I have severe back pain and my family doctor now has me on painkillers 3 times a day to deal with that pain. I got an urinary tract infection because I am so dried out and have a really hard time peeing..I want to go but can't - my kidneys are dry which is causing some of the back pain. And believe me, females must have it harder...I got a yeast infection and irritation because I am so dry. I am drinking lots and lots of water and still feel dehydrated.. and I am so dry that lotion is now a godsend (for someone that has always been oily..I never got into the habit of using lotion and now need it more than ever but don't really like the feel of it). The tiniest little cut or scrape now bleeds.

I really don't know how much longer I can handle this and honestly if my acne reoccurs after this treatment..I don't think I will ever want to go through this again...I can live with acne. Plus at this point, its affecting my job..my boss doesn't believe I'm sick and I am in so much pain with my back and kidneys..that its an effort to get up everyday and go to work, the painkillers help - but really who wants to be on painkillers on top of all the other drugs I'm taking for every other infection that pops up because I'm so dried out..vitamin E to combat the dryness, painkillers for my back, the accutane for the oil/acne, water and more water and still can't pee..I feel like a little old lady that has to take 20 million pills a day just to get by :)

My monthly checkup appt is next week and I'm going to tell the dermatologist that we need to lower my dosage...I want to feel normal again and I was ok up to this month..and now I understand why she always ask if I've had back pain..I guess it's one of the side affects..the good news is my eyes are fine now..and not dry and I can see again.

I guess next week..we'll see if I break out before my period...if not, maybe she'll lower the dose. I want this over with...they told me til May..I want to go out in the sun again (I'm a total sun-worshipper). I want to be acne-free..just a couple of more months..

Week 20 (March 24-31)

March 24-26: Its only a couple of days into the week but finally all infections seems to be clearing up and I've only had a few little white heads on my stomach of all places and on my butt. I still have back pain but I see the doctor in a couple of days for my checkup. The only thing that is a problem now is (1) my skin is so dry that any fabric that is tight or harsh like wool hurts (2) I could use lotion every minute of the day and I wouldn't know I had any on (3) I am so dry that astroglide has become my friend otherwise I have dry itchy skin in a place I don't particulary want to be dry..now my doctor said this would happen (but honestly - a healthy 30 something shouldn't be dry ever) and (4) my nails are so brittle they break opening my jacket - I finally broke down and cut my nails off (and this was the first time ever I had grown them out and liked it)....anyways..will check back in after my appt. I'm hoping that I only have a month left on accutane..I really want to go on vacation and see Todd but not with an acne outbreak..I want my face to be clear and free of acne.

March 27-31: Saw my doctor on Friday - she is keeping me on the same dose because it seems to be bringing everything up to the surface. So now I'm still on 100mg per day (60mg once a day and 40mg once a day) however the good news is most of my acne on my face is gone and I'm have no new eruptions on my face this week (which is usually when I get them - a week before my period). The ones on my back are drying up. My skin is finally feeling better - I'm still dry but now I'm drinking water every second which seems to be helping with the back pain/kidney infection too. I told my doctor about the back pain and kidney infection and that I felt so dehydrated..she said that was normal and to drink more water..I think it might have been nice to warn me about possible kidney infections due to drying out and that no matter what on Accutane you have to drink water constantly (double the 8 glasses per day that you should drink) Personally I'm a little tired of water..but its helping. I was alittle afraid to color my hair since my hair was so dry but today I was like screw it..I'm tired of not doing things because of life on Accutane...so I did my hair - looks great and my hair is still dry but not terribly so. I still have back pain but nothing like I did a week ago..now I just have numbness in my legs and butt - but I'm not longer itchy everywhere. And I learned something this weekend...I still sweat but not anywhere as much as I used too- which is an incredible blessing. So I guess life is good on Accutane today..my body must be use to the dose now and I can live a normal life on Accutane. And I also realized something else...Todd knows I have acne..most of its gone on my face..why wait to meet him. However, my doctor told me its looking like two more months - so all of April and all of May...maybe accutane free by June?

Week 21 - 24 (Month of April)  Wow, I missed a whole month worth of updating, my life in general was really hectic during April.  During April, I'm still on 100mg per day (60mg once a day and 40mg once a day) except that I seem to have broken out under my breasts, all over my back, my chest and deep acne nodules on my face and butt. I had some more physical problems and no one knows if its related to Accutane or not but I can honestly say that I've never had this problem before and haven't had as many physical problems before Accutane. My feet went numb about mid-April and my doctor can't figure out what is wrong..I'm hoping that once I'm off Accutane it goes away. My family doctor have me go for an Xray of my back and an MRI - nothing showed up. I understand that Accutane screws another with your immune system..so who knows what is causing the numbness, the dermatologist says that accutane wouldn't cause it but why does she keep asking my about back pain every checkup? My joints in general ache - definetly a known side effect of Accutane.  The good news is that for a least the last half of April, I was able to wear makeup to cover what little acne I had on my face..at few days, I stopped wearing it just to clear up the nodule that erupted but all in all, I don't need that much makeup anymore to cover the acne and most of it on my face is starting to clear up.

Week 25 (April 28 - May 4) the doctor up'd my dose to 120 mg per day (80mg once a day and 40mg once a day), everything is finally drying up. The little breakouts under my breasts, completely gone and dried up, red marks even disappearing. My chest and back are drying up and disappearing except my back itches now. My face is drying completely and the cystic nodule on my face is going away. I had a bad pimple inside my nose but I think its going away or a least my nose doesn't hurt as bad today. My lips are so dry that as soon as I put aquaphor on them I can scrap off the dead cells and then need to put more on to keep them from cracking and bleeding. I still have to exfoliate my face, chest and back everyday because of all the dead cells that are coming off - yuck. At night, I use cephail on my face - a gentle cleanser. My fingernails are completely brittle and I finally just cut them all off again. Oh yeah, the two huge cystic nodules on my butt, erupted last night and are finally drying up and don't hurt anymore (this is one of the worst spots to get it..it hurt to sit :( )

This is my last month on accutane, yeah!!!!! I'm am still really really dry everywhere and can't wait to at least get some oil back into my body and have my joints stop aching constantly. And maybe some oil back into my hair that would be such as plus. I'm totally looking forward to life off Accutane. I'll probably have some scars but nothing compare to 6 months ago. And I don't think I will need to wear makeup to cover up anything..life without coverup..totally a bonus!!

Some good things that have happened..I seemed to be losing weight, not as hungry..not sure if a side effect of Accutane or just that I'm happier with my appearance and want to lose the weight now. I've had guys whistling at me which hasn't happened in a long time..maybe just because my face is almost cleared up.

Week 26 and 27(May 5 - 18) I'm bad, sorry didn't update last weeks...here are the last two weeks...my face and body is completely acne free!!!! YEAH!!!!. I only have a few places that are red and still flaky but its just drying up everything and I mean everything. The itchy dry skin is sort of intense this last two weeks and I'm sticking to everything...totally dry. The tiniest little scratches hurt and leave red marks but I'm almost done. I'm drinking water constantly. I learned a little trick and it was a total accident, I was putting neosporin on one of the bad painful red spots on my face from me scratching and accidentally got some on my lips..it totally helps with the painful cracked lips..so I been doing that every morning with the neosporin and my lips feel 90% better. So anyways, I think it was all worth it so far. I'm starting to look younger than my age again. My face is almost normal and I only wear a small amount of makeup just to cover up the red spot that are healing and fading away..only 5 more days to go..

Week 28 (May 19-23) I saw my doctor on the 23rd, all the acne is gone. She wants me to finish out the pills I have left and then get my last blood test the day after. One more followup in July. I thought May 23rd would be the last day of Accutane but now we are looking at May 31st..which is fine...because whatever strange little pimples feel like popping up probably won't and the last day is still in May. And by my vacation, I might have some oil back in my body. The only thing left is the little red scars which are slowly fading and my doctor said that they would completely disappear within 4-6 months..yea!!!! but most of them are fading now.

May 31st - LAST DAY on ACCUTANE!!!!!

June 29th, 2003   Almost a month now off accutane. My numbness in my feet is gone, my family doctor decided after all it must have been a side affect of the accutane. Thank goodness for my mom, the doctor bills associated with the back problems due to Accutane have been terrible. My family doctor said that every person is different and how their body reacts to Accutane and its not clearly documented except maybe in this various accutane journal written by people that have gone through the treatment.. My face is 99% clear and free of acne. I say 99% because I did get three very little pimples during my period, but nothing like before and they have disappeared in a few days. I hardly have to wear any makeup at all unless I haven't gotten enough sleep (another story). I don't produce anywhere near the same amount of oil in my skin, although its nice not to be so dried out, cuts heal faster, my hair feels better and my lips are NO LONGER CHAPPED and DRY!!! and I sweat now like I did before accutane. All in all, I can deal with three little pimples as long as the cystic nodules never come back. I finally look younger than my age again and its so nice to no longer have to hide behind coverup and makeup and everything to look beautiful. My back and chest are 100% cleared up also.

I'll probably up date this again in 6 months..let everyone know how I'm doing and how my face, back and chest are doing..

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