Today, I was struck by an exchange between a manager and a very, unhappy employee. (The employee is unhappy because she doesn't choose to come to work for reasons that don't always appear to be truthful.) The exchange lasted over an hour because the manager allowed the woman to lead the conversation and involve her in an endless loop of explaining and listening to excuses.
There are two ways to address this potential. One is to use active listening so the employee feels heard out and listened to, rather than "explained to," patronized, or "ruled." The second is to use techniques that I think of as control and closure techniques. Tonight, I'll talk about the first.
The most common reason I find that an employee goes on and on and repeats his or her story is that they don't feel the manager is listening, or has heard them out. Try, the next time you encounter an unhappy employee, to just listen. Nod your head to encourage them; use an open, welcoming posture; make your facial expression encouraging; and use words such as: tell me more about that, how did you feel, and mm-hmm.
Summarize what you hear the person saying and ask them if you are correct in your summary of their feelings, actions, and thoughts. Recognize that if you jump in and try to solve their problem, tell them the rules, or tell them what to do - before they feel heard out and listened to - they will likely just repeat their story, on and on, until they feel that you have heard them.
You do hold the key to controlling these endless loops - make sure the employee feels heard out and listened to the first time.
How to Receive Feedback With Grace and Dignity
Warmly,
Susan
11:45:56 PM
Listen More to Listen Less 
|
